Wife's depression is killing our marriage.

I posted on this forum earlier in the year about my wife's battle with depression and ultimately the psychotic break that occurred from it. At the time, we were married 11 years and had never had a marital problem worthy of divorce. We were best friends. To summarize, we faced some difficult situations last year such as: the death of my father, the death of two close friends, and we were also struggling with fertility issues. My wife started the downward spiral back in January of this year and ultimately on June 1st suffered a psychotic break. She was in psychosis for nearly 3 months.

To make a very long and complicated story short, she left me after leaving the hospital in June and lived with her parents during the 3 months of psychosis, totally refusing treatment. I won't go into details but, she was delusional and she was hallucinating. I visited her every weekend and tried to persuade her to take her medication. But, as we all know, that doesn't work very well.

In September, the psychosis was fading and she wanted to come home. She agreed to take medication and go to therapy. She still seemed very bitter about having to take the medicine and always told her doctor that "there was nothing wrong with her". After three months on meds that just made her sick, we agreed that she should stop taking them.

So, here I am now, with a wife that lacks insight into her problem. She seems to be getting better slowly but, she swears she was never depressed...just unhappy. I am completely worn out from walking on eggshells all the time.

-- Mon Nov 19, 2012 5:54 am --

here is the link to my original post

relationship/topic94523.html#p882874

Hi bumpy31,

Sorry to hear you are in such a painful situation. Mental illness can be incredibly destructive to relationships, and very challenging to treat. You must feel quite at a loss for how to help her, and also in need of some relief from your role as caretaker.

You mentioned that she was going to see a therapist; is she continuing with that? Are you speaking with a therapist yourself? It's important that you get the support you need so you can continue supporting your wife. Hopefully you have family and friends who understand your situation and can be there for you as well.

Does she feel her unhappiness is related only to the circumstances you've described experiencing in the past year? It's good to hear that she's slowly improving (a good sign, especially if she is not taking any medication), but it sounds like your marriage is still in trouble and you don't feel hopeful about your future together. How does she feel about your marriage? Is she open at all to talking about your feelings regarding the relationship? If she doesn't think she has depression, and doesn't want to take medication or talk openly with a therapist, does she have any other plans for getting herself feeling better? How does her behavior affect you?

I hope you find some support here. Keep talking.

All best wishes,

Sylvie