Am I a bit bothered because of jealousy

I will try to make this quick and I hope this is the right forum...

My now ex broke up with me about 3 months ago. We were together for a bit over 2 years and lived together about a year. The break up was not my decision. After we broke up she made it clear we would not get back together and I accepted that. We did decide to remain friends.

Maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago everything changed. One night I get a text from her and all it said was "I really miss you." We briefly went back and forth that night and we met for dinner the next night to talk. We spent most of that next week together and had a nice time in each other's company. Then, one night that same week, an "incident" occurred (very long story) that ultimately made her truly realize how much I love her and the extent I am willing go to care for her and make sure she is safe. From that point on we became more and more affectionate towards each other. She stays over at my house somewhat often and when she does, we sleep in the same bed and cuddle, but have not had sex. We have, however, gotten to the point where we kiss each other regularly. In fact, we are going on a short, overnight getaway this weekend. All-in-all, things have been great between us lately but we both realize that 1) if we were to once again be bf/gf, we need to talk about what we need to do to make it work, 2) She would prefer to take it slow to be sure it's right, which I do agree with, and 3) while it has been acknowledged that we are "dating" again, we are not exclusive at this point, but working towards it.

Here is my issue...we finally had a serious talk about what is going on a couple days ago. During this talk I found out that, during the time we both believed we would never get back together, and she was even considering not talking to me any more apparently, she slept with 2 different guys. One was while she was drunk and the other was some guy she went on a date with that was from out of town and she knew she'd never see again. It made me sick to think about that. However, during this time I slept with someone as well (just one person). Things between us lately have been very good and I do feel that in time this I will care less and less. Should I let this bother me even though that would hypocritical? Should I just let the past be the past, move on from it and know that most of what makes upset about it probably stems from jealousy? Would you be bothered by this if you were in my position and possibly getting back with your ex that you are still madly in love with?

I also want to understand the reasons why people do things like this. Because they think it will help them move on from their ex? To fill a void now that they are single? I feel these may have contributed my dumb decision, but what else could contribute to decisions such as this?

roam159 wrote:Should I let this bother me even though that would hypocritical?

If it bothers you, it bothers you. Don't deny it or bury it, it never works. You might want to (tactfully) talk about it with her. This way you can let her know that you understand that this is irrational and that you want to deal with it, before she notices any unintended hostility that might arise from this jealousy. Avoid miscommunication.

I also want to understand the reasons why people do things like this. Because they think it will help them move on from their ex? To fill a void now that they are single? I feel these may have contributed my dumb decision, but what else could contribute to decisions such as this?

You, as a human, want sex and/or affection (especially after a breakup), and it was available to you. She did make it clear that she had no intention of getting back together, and you did acknowledge it. I don't think there needs to be any other reason. Neither of you owed any explanations. By a fortuitous unpredicted course of events, the two of you got back together. It changes things from now on, but it doesn't change the "rules" that applied back then.