Staring at me dead in my face

To make a long story short....guy was my best friend for a whole year. At the end of the year it became sexual. I was fine if he was sleeping with his ex, just as long as he didn't hide it. Well he did. It all blew up cuz she was threatening me so I told her I was f*****g her "man" (they were broken up....they both said it) we fell out. Blah blah blah. About 4-5 months pass and he comes back tryin to rebuild a friendship. But we still wanted each other sexually. It started off fine until my moods kicked in and I get seriously needy (gota love winter). We talked about what I really want which is for us to go back to the original us. He says he wants that too. But he also says that if we stop talkin, it would bother him at first but he'd get over it (he gets over things extremely quick) And that it doesnt matter to him if we ever speak again. -___- Anyways...we both want our friendship back but we're both not fully committed to it cuz of the past. I know this relationship is a dead end but I can't seem to walk away. Just by his actions and the way he responds to things, I can easily tell that I'm not an important person in his life, but he's not an important person in mine. I'm just a dweller when the winter season comes along. Not sure if this makes sense cuz I jump around and skip over stuff but I would really like advice on how to handle this

Um... let go of him?

I think you'll need to be more specific in order to get a more useful reply.

I Know this post sounds stupid. Im not sure how to be more specific. But what he says sometimes is that he doesnt care about me. But it makes me wonder why do i keep fighting to keep him around? he says really mean things and other times hes sweet. Its hard for me to decipher whats real and whats not (like hes saying what i want to hear)

Type2_bp wrote:But it makes me wonder why do i keep fighting to keep him around?

Oh, now this is indeed a profound question.

Some people might say that it's all his fault — he's abusive and has chosen you as a victim and a victim is all you are. Others might say it's all your fault — you're "weak" and you somehow take pleasure in being treated badly. I think neither of these perspectives is constructive. It seems that few people ever consider the more objective perspective: you both have issues. Except you can only do something about your own issues. He's not going to change because of you.

I'd say that in your case, being a victim somehow distracts you from other issues that are painful to deal with. Or maybe the role of a victim feels familiar to you, and this familiarity, by mental association, brings conflicting memories and feelings. Or both things. In any case, staying with him is very unlikely to ever bring you any closure to whatever it is that attracts you to this dysfunctional relationship.

Have no advice... I dont know anything, Nothing!

Im going through something similar, I have to let go because Im not in control.. Its the loss of control that scares me..

I have to pray and give it to God... God is who I go to, I have to work with God and stay away from the other person. Im to dependent on that one person... The hopes and friendship associated with them, the possibilities..

People can be an addiction..

Thank you That does make a lot of sense. I dont know why its so hard to let go this time. Ive done it before and i was completely fine.