Severe anxiety about something very stupid?

Hi everyone, and sorry to bother... I've just been worrying nonstop about something and I definitely know it's being caused by my severe anxiety disorder, but I just need to hear some reassuring words about what's going on... and a fair warning again, it's pretty stupid.

So, I got a card for my girlfriend for her birthday. It's a really nice expensive card that I picked up and was initially excited for, but once I wrote in the card and on the envelope I couldn't stop worrying. I can't stop worrying even now! The thing is, I'm really paranoid she's going to dump me over my handwriting or something. The thing that gets me the most is the way I wrote her name on the envelope, it's too small and too much to the left rather than larger and in the center of the envelope. I'm deathly afraid she'll think I'm stupid and can't write correctly and that I'm a slob or something. This may also have to do with my Borderline Personality Disorder, since I spend a lot of my time very anxious over her dumping me or not actually loving me... but I just can't shake this feeling. I'm afraid to send her the gift with the card because I don't want her to think I'm pathetic!

I talked to my mom about this and she told me to calm down and that it doesn't even matter, and logically... I think I know it doesn't, but I'm still worried and keep thinking I could have written it better. I couldn't have made it prettier, more in the middle, bigger words. It's so dumb! Just.. ugh, I'm sorry... I really need to be reassured it's not a big deal. Also, has anyone ever had MAJOR anxiety over something so small like this before? I'm having fainting spells and throwing up because it's making me so upset...

Anyways, thanks a bunch and sorry for all the words.

Sweetie,- that's really OCD sounding, even for me, but I totally understand. Totally. I'm surprised I've never done that. I understand you. Just.... Chill. Breathe. If your g/f likes you, she likes you! the writing won't change that. If it did, then I'd question she was yours in the first place. So don't worry.

My handwriting is atrocious. And I told my first grade teacher it didn't matter. That was 1970! Still don't. Ain't got no better, neither. Never stopped no one from liking ME. Won't stop anyone from liking you. Won't stop people from telling you your handwriting is lousy. But ain't gonna stop them from liking you. I've read thru your posts. You're most evidently nowhere near stupid.

But I'm like you hon. I obsess over the stupidest, most idiotic, nonsensical things, and no amount of logic will change my mind from beating itself up. That's when you just have to say ###$ it and walk away. Just have to get your Elsa on and..... Wait for it....

Let it go.

You can do it. I got faith in you.

snaga2.0 wrote:Sweetie,- that's really OCD sounding, even for me, but I totally understand. Totally. I'm surprised I've never done that. I understand you. Just.... Chill. Breathe. If your g/f likes you, she likes you! the writing won't change that. If it did, then I'd question she was yours in the first place. So don't worry.

My handwriting is atrocious. And I told my first grade teacher it didn't matter. That was 1970! Still don't. Ain't got no better, neither. Never stopped no one from liking ME. Won't stop anyone from liking you. Won't stop people from telling you your handwriting is lousy. But ain't gonna stop them from liking you. I've read thru your posts. You're most evidently nowhere near stupid.

But I'm like you hon. I obsess over the stupidest, most idiotic, nonsensical things, and no amount of logic will change my mind from beating itself up. That's when you just have to say ###$ it and walk away. Just have to get your Elsa on and..... Wait for it....

Let it go.

You can do it. I got faith in you.

Urk, I know... I've recognized a few little ticks within myself that correlate with OCD symptoms, but I've never wanted to go get it checked out in fear of getting another pesky diagnosis on my hands.

But that aside, thank you. This made me feel a lot better about my anxiety about this and knowing I'm not alone in worrying myself to death over this trivial things has made it that much better. I guess I'm just going to have to throw the gloves off and try my best to let it go!

I think that most people would notice the present and card that you've bought, not your hand writing.

However, that's not to say I don't understand where you are coming from. I too worry about small things. In fact most of my particular anxiety comes from worrying over the small stuff.

I think I'm too fat, too old, out of fashion. I do mind reading, and assume people are making judgments on me, the quality of my work, how nice my home is.

If it bothers you, it bothers you. However, in reality, you don't know if it'll bother someone else. You're assuming it will, and assumptions can often be wrong.

In my case, the fear comes from low self esteem. It's hard to fight against irrational out of proportion thoughts. Try and work through out logically as you have done. The more you do that, the more you learn to trust yourself.

I hope things go well, and that she's suitably pleased with the gift and card.

Hi after reading your post, a few things came to my mind.

Our thoughts are just thoughts. Our feelings are just feelings and our emotions are just emotions.
When we can see our thoughts as words and images, then we can let go of our struggle with them.
We cannot stop our thoughts, but rather we can change how we respond to our thoughts.
Our thoughts are like the ocean, waves coming in and out.

One exercise that is helpful is focusing on the breath. It's great practice because you get to develop your attention on your breath while working with your thoughts. When thoughts enter your mind, you can simply notice them without trying to change or judge them.
The goal is to focus only on the breath and become aware of all your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensations.
When disturbing thoughts enter your mind, see them as thoughts and words.
Try not to get caught up in the drama of your thoughts.
When you let you go of the struggle, you can begin living life according to your values, which is having a good relationship with your girlfriend. Instead of trying to change your thoughts, you can focus on what you want to have in life.

Hope this is helpful.

Good luck with everything.