What to do and when

Alright, suggestion time. How do you handle being called out on your paraphilia? Be it online, or in the 3d world, how does one soothe themself, and come away from the sting of society's wrath, without falling back into the same self loathing patterns? The humilliation, embarrassment, of being called out on your darkest fears of what people really might think of you. How do you get back to being content, and just saying, screw 'em!

Could you remind yourself that you are the same person you were before you were called-out? I see no good reason why your opinion of yourself should change simply because other people know about your paraphilia.

Also, it may seem like people are judging you as a person. They're not - they're judging your paraphilia. But you are not your paraphilia - you are a whole person with many other facets.

Plus a lot of people are sexually repressed. They're afraid of their own sexual fantasies, and so shun anything that isn't conventional. Sometimes their negative reaction stems from issues with their own sexuality. After all, if they were genuinely comfortable with themselves and they heard that you were aroused by things they weren't interested in, why would it bother them? As long as you're not breaking any laws or doing anything non-consensual, why would they feel the need to judge you unless they are insecure?

Maintaining a healthy sense of self is part of the puzzle here. What I'm talking about goes like this: You would be wise to remind yourself some way of who you are as a whole - not as what this person or group of people is judging you as. To do this, it takes a person who is willing to approach the situation with a healthy dose of positive self-esteem and self-efficacy.

For me, this would take care of half the problem. Another half is dealing with dangers, harassment, and other issues that are kind of out of your control, such as what else this party calling you out might do. If others called me out for being a pedophile, would I deny it? Perhaps, but with the good intentions of not being harmed or violently verbally/physically rebuked, if you know what I mean. I'd like to think that this wouldn't really happen quite as easily as I believe it could, but I'm not going to play around if someone that doesn't care for me in the first place happens to call me out.

Then there's the issue of just how you could be called out. One could confront you privately about this, or shout out drunkenly, "ARE YOU A PEDO???" in front of an entire bar of people. This would also take some consideration on how to approach it.

Personally, it's hard for me to say just how I'd respond. I highly doubt I'd be thrown into an abyss of self-pity because of someone else's "blissful" ignorance. Develop healthy affirmations about yourself - such as, "I'm willing to learn to accept myself regardless of society's stigmas and judgements." Or, more simply, "I am a (enter favorite personal trait here) person and I respect myself."

Such as my commonly used affirmation, "I am a wild and fun person and I respect myself!"

Hey, I forgot how awesome this place can be! Thanks all!!:D

I've come a long way as far as self respect is concerned, however my old ways tend to raise their ugly heads when it comes to someone directly insulting me for who I am. No, I am not my paraphilia, I agree, but necrophilia is a significant part of my identity, which I have learned, is deeply embedded in me. I'm feeling a lot better today actually, and have gone back to my attitude of, yep, I'm a necrophiliac. You don't like it, the door's that way, see yourself out. Mwahahaaaaa.

Back to my serene, playful, tranquil fun ways. There aren't many people I can relate to here, most are pedophiles, I've only heard of 2 or 3 necrophiles here, but for some reason, I find quite a bit of serenity here. A place to vent, if you will.

Peace to alls!

Well I dont really let that information out so I dont feel get any direct disgust from others but I certainly am well aware of how most people in general feel about pedophiles and that definitely affects me indirectly because I know who I am and I know if even my friends knew this about me they'd react about the same. I sort of look at it like this. I cant expect someone who is sexually normal from a standpoint of society to understand someone like me who is on the fringes so to speak. I do expect them to accept it but ussually they wont so i'm always dissappointed by society. But me and you and others who struggle with paraphilias have a very unique perspective of society. We see society's true colors so to speak. It has made me very cynical and very realistic. While that may sound bad I dont think it is. I see the world around me for what it is. Not some candy coated version of reality. Not many people can do that and I for one am proud that I can. Because of this perspective I am able to forgive those who would judge me because I realize that they don't operate in reality. They are misguided and quite frankly very moronic. I seriously feel that if I actually let their hatred and judgement bother me then I am stooping to their level and that is not a place I want to go. Also, I find it easy to be compassionate and understanding toward people in general and especially those who have struggles like mine. Take yourself for instance. I cannot understand how on earth someone can be attracted to corpses. But I won't judge you for it. In fact i'll even give you my sympathy and support because I know that most people can't comprehend the idea that someone can be attracted to children. Yet they are and by no fault of their own. I dont have to understand the flaws a person has. I just have to attempt to understand them as a person. The same is true with people who judge us. See, they are just as flawed as we are, only in a different way. Instead of getting mad when I hear of someone calling for the extinction of all pedophiles, I just have compassion realizing that their hatred is their flaw. We keep our flaws in check. They don't. I think that makes us better people. Thats where I get my motivation. Sorry for rambling.

I don't see it as rambling at all, and thank you for trying to level with me. I know it's hard to understand necrophilia, I never understood it myself until I realized I was part of it. Actually, all through my teens I used to think, necrophilia? Ewwwww...

Ah well. Yeah, I too feel sorry for those who are ignorant and judgemental, they're clueless, misguided, and completely and totally lost. I wouldn't want to live my life in such a shallow state of mind, that would suck, if I can be frank. Conformity. God I feel so sorry for those who are trapped in the endless miserable cycle of conformity.

I have for rule to plainly ignore them. You don't need to keep this kind of people around you, enough tolerant people in the world to skip on the bigots.
Of course if your paraphilia break law that's hardly possible.