pedophillia ?? plz react.....

es i know its me again...

Hello my name is michael and i have the following problem.

I saw a boy and thaught that he looked cute d started to wonder if i couldnt be a pedophile. And i started to dig up things about muself froms the past d facts from the present like:
- when i was younger (idk could be few motnhs or few years cant remember) i mastrubated to "may" from pokemon (i know....)
- same thing...cant remember i think i was 15... and i mastrubated the girls of bakugan....i know...strange....
- when i was 14 i mastrubated while thinking of a girl of 10 i did this like idk 10 times ?
- i always felt attractive to girls with small breasts while the other guys always kept talking about " big boobs "
- when i was 12 i once pulled down a younger girl her pants down ( i think it was for the fun of it so to laugh but i start doubting) i never mastrubated on the thaught of it.
- when i have "pedophile thaughts" i dont feel disgusted i only feel stressed an anxious.
~testing facts:
- in the beginning: when i tested myself if i get aroused ( erection) by the thaughts i sometimes got aroused and sometimes not.
-earlier this day: i tested myself and i got aroused EVERY time ( 5 times) i tested myself.
- later this day ( now) : unable to get aroused by only thaughts ( stimulation needed)
- i get stress from girl between 8-13 and i think that if this was pocd that i would get stress from all kids from any age and from both genders....
- i feel like i am honestly attracted to them.....
- when i "accept the possibility" i feel like i am a pedo....
- i start to think that i am attracted to girls (8-13y)
- i feel like i have no attraction anymore to girls of my age....
- i like BDSM ( i read somewhere that pedos are mostly sexual saddists idk f this is true)
- when i was younger i used to have friends wich were younger then me
- when i was in the swimming pool (before all this) a young girl was there (idk 10 maybe or 12 ) and she wasnt wearing a bikini (hte top part) and i remember feeling strange when i saw her (i think a little aroused) but i didnt have an urge to keep on looking (i think)



These things gave me alot of stress.

Things were i hold on to to reansure myself im not a pedo:
- i always thaught about girls of my class ( so my age)
- i used to like big breasts
- kids never bothered or intrested me (i think)
- i think that i only got aroused because i thaught of a particular part not of the whole person( child) ( i hope that thats the reason)
- i think i might be aroused because i concentrated to muh on seeing if i get aroused or not. ( another guesse)

Can you people tell me what you honestly think of it ?
Dont just say " its OCD" because i start to get the feeling that alot of people say that to make themself feel better.
So plz alswer with your honest opinion.

No " you need to accept the uncertanity " things because i tried for 2 weeks it was working ald then one spike and im worse then when i started.

So plz give your honest opinion POCD or pedophile

Ps: i have never been diagnosed with OCD

I am extremely worried that you may have OCD.

As such, I have no idea what to tell you because I think that no matter what I say, you're going to be back in two weeks with the same questions.

Maybe with another user account, who knows.

So the answer to all of your questions is yes. And no. Maybe mostly possibly.

Oh and also you are quite capable of making yourself worry and think most weird things you can imagine.

so you think i have OCD and that i am not a pedophile ?

I think you are going to repeat that question.

I think you are going to repeat that question, even when you know the answer.

I think you are going to repeat that question, even when I ask you if you have ever doubted that you are heterosexual.

I think you are going to repeat that question, even when you understand what my answer is.

I think... that you would benefit from answering your own questions.

Alevi wrote:I think you are going to repeat that question.

I think you are going to repeat that question, even when you know the answer.

I think you are going to repeat that question, even when I ask you if you have ever doubted that you are heterosexual.

I think you are going to repeat that question, even when you understand what my answer is.

I think... that you would benefit from answering your own questions.

i repeat the question because you said "i worrie that you might have OCD" and thats where i not worrie about i worrie about being a pedophile. so did you type it wrong did you mean " i worrie that you might not have OCD" or did you actually mean " i worrie that you might have OCD" ?

ps: how did you know that i doubted if i was a hetero sexual (or if i was gay) ?

plz someone react....why does nobody react.....

The vast majority of us are not qualified in psychology or psychiatry, so please take our responses accordingly and seek professional help if you feel you need better or more concrete answers.

That said, I've seen a fair few POCD people post here. The difference is usually pretty obvious: paedophiles are sexually/romantically attracted to pre-pubescent children. By attracted I don't mean they worry about whether or not they might be attracted - they simply are. The POCD types on this forum post over and over again: 'do you think I might be? what if I am?'.

ok thnak you for your response.
POCD it is.

Ok, I'm going to react. This is the way i see things; as a human being, every person goes through approximately three personality changes, and during these personality changes we struggle to keep intact of things like, interests, and start asking questions like who we are. We thus find this needing and thirst for euphoria and start to question what makes our brain tick...

The fact is we will probably never know completely how our brain ticks, needless to say why, but what i will say, is your probably just going through change, and so these 'curiosities' will spark between that.

Keep your chin up, and try and take your mind off it. i know from personal experiences that its hard to take your mind off personality changes, but you gotta.

going to a change... going to change to what ?