Pedophillia im doubting....? POCD....?

Yes i know its me again...

Hello my name is michael and i have the following problem.

I saw a boy and thaught that he looked cute d started to wonder if i couldnt be a pedophile. And i started to dig up things about muself froms the past d facts from the present like:
- when i was 14 i mastrubated while thinking of a girl of 10 i did this like idk 10 times ?
- i always felt attractive to girls with small breasts while the other guys always kept talking about " big boobs "
- when i was 12 i once pulled down a younger girl her pants down ( i think it was for the fun of it so to laugh but i start doubting) i never mastrubated on the thaught of it.
- when i have "pedophile thaughts" i dont feel disgusted i only feel stressed an anxious.
~testing facts:
- in the beginning: when i tested myself if i get aroused ( erection) by the thaughts i sometimes got aroused and sometimes not.
-earlier this day: i tested myself and i got aroused EVERY time i tested myself.
- later this day ( now) : unable to get aroused by only thaughts ( stimulation needed)

These things gave me alot of stress.
Things were i hold on to to reansure myself im not a pedo:
- i always thaught about girls of my class ( so my age)
- i used to like big breasts
- kids never bothered or intrested you
- i only got aroused because i thaught of a particular part not of the whole person( child) ( i hope that thats the reason)
- i only got aroused because i concentrated to muh on seeing if i get aroused or not. ( another guesse)

Can you people tell me what you honestly think of it ?
Dont just say " its OCD" because i start to get the feeling that alot of people say that to make themself feel better.
So plz alswer with your honest opinion.

No " you need to accept the uncertanity " things because i tried for 2 weeks it was working ald then one spike and im worse then when i started.

So plz give your honest opinion POCD or pedophile

Ps: i have never been diagnosed with OCD