Sexually attracted to ugly and disfigured.

I can't stop being attracted to hideous, ugly and disgusting people despite how weird or funny other people consider it, I don't find it beautiful and just think it's sexually arousing.

I had this attraction since I was very young, I was first attracted to grannies and fat ugly white trash women first. I used to often masturbated to pictures or TV shows that contained women or men that no one else would have sex with even for money, I always knew that was weird compared to other boys but I first realized I was ###$ up soon when I was whacking off while fantasizing about fat women giving birth through their asshole or personally impregnating a 100 year old woman I previously saw in a magazine and let her give birth while she was already death (...yeah, Freud would have a field day with me). Later when I had access Internet I searched for disfigured people from failed plastic surgery, severe accidents, handicapped, you name it and usually end up jerking off to it.

There's an even stranger thing (yeah I know), I have OCD and I'm a real hygiene/cleaning freak I shower sometimes twice a day but I love it when a woman I want to have sex with smells bad, coupled with dirty greasy hair and skin, that's why I request sometimes (depending on the woman) that she doesn't take showers or baths for a few days until after our date (I've had sex with a homeless woman, that's how far it goes).

I usually find women on date sites, there's always a large supply of ugly people, they're easy to seduce and get into bed which is probably the only positive thing about my situation. I've tried sex with a good looking girl but I just couldn't get into it and felt more like a substitute to the real thing I want. I obviously can't tell other people about it, they'll immediately associate me with a sex offender or whatever.

I do see a psychiatrist for my OCD and ADHD so my question is should I mention this to my shrink? I don't feel like it's a big issue anyway since it's perfectly legal. Also is there a particular name for this paraphillia (assuming it's a paraphillia) and is there some sort of community whatever I can join?

Hi,

I wouldn't call this a paraphilia. Id more call it a fantasy or fetish, kind of like how some people have a fetish for feet. I want to pose this question to you though: Would you actually date a disfigured woman? To be honest, I kind of relate to you on some small level because I like the idea of 'dirtyness' in my sexual encounteres too. However, it's not to the extent that I get-off on 'ugly' women. In fact, I tend not to use the word ugly at all because it's such a cruel word to use. Anyway, i definately think that you should raise this issue with your psychiatrist, but only if you feel that it's a real barrier and problem in your life right now. You don't have to go into each detail either, and can just say to him/her that you have an odd fetish and are worried about it. See what they say to that, and then if you feel comfortable expanding on it, then do.

Kevin

It's not a real barrier since I kind of enjoy being a male slut, regardless what others think. But I'll consider it to talk about with my psych, in case he can shed more light on this.

To answer your question: I wouldn't have a problem dating a disfigured girl only I'm far from being boyfriend material. I'm not into commitment and stay with one girl for a long time so it would be kind of unfair to the girl as her only purpose would be to serve as an object of lust to me. Unless she has no problem being considered as one.

CArl, I'd argue that maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet, and that's why you haven't wanted to be eith one long term. Do you see where Im coming from on this?

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