Hatred towards Pedophiles

I consider myself to be a rather likeable person, and have had friends agree with that claim. However, as may happen in some conversations amongst a group of friends you may carry on and talk about recent events or local news. Then there will be some reference to some sex offender and an in-depth discussion about how monstrous such an individual must be and rather detailed descriptions of all the torturous things they feel such an individual should endure. To this I talk very little, and agree when it seems appropriate. Though at the same time, I'm nervous as hell (not for having offending any child --- which I haven't), because I do have these thoughts and desires.

How does anyone else fair in such situations? I for one, feel like friends I've known for years might burn me at the stake if they knew the things that went through my mind.

Why should they ever need to know what goes on in your head? Do you know their innermost thoughts? - No, is the answer. They will never know what is going on inside your head either. Whilst you can't carry out these thoughts, you can still live with them, Neuling.

I've been around a few people talking about what they would do if they got there hands on a paedophile and my heart goes crazy. One time I was alone in a room with someone who had not long come out from prison. He had been in prison for trying to kill a paedophile.

All my friends know I'm a paedophile and they are ok talking to me as long as I don't talk about kids or babies. When I'm outside talking to my best friend and a baby starts crying he makes noise so I don't hear the baby and if there's a kid outside he stands In front of me so I can't see the child.

Are you a convicted one, Cider? If you have served time in prison, then that is fine. That's what prison is for: rehabilitation. If you haven't been convicted, however, then how do your friends know what is going on inside your head? The answer is that you've obviously told them, but why disclose such info to people?

Kevin

I guess it may not have so much to do with wanting to share with friends what you are truly thinking as it does knowing that you wouldn't have such friends if they knew what you were thinking. Most of my friends assume I'm something else... and because of that, I can't help but to wonder how alone I'd really be if I didn't pretend... if I didn't hide. There is a strong desire to want to be understood and accepted... and it's heartrending to know that as much as my friends assure me that I can tell them anything... I know that's not really true.

Sometimes it becomes tempting to want to stop them and say that not all pedophiles are rapists or molesters. Not all are evil... and it's not a 'choice' to do think such thoughts. I guess deep down, I feel the hatred in their words on such topics, and I know part of that hatred is directed at me... whether they realize it or not.

My mother was the same way as your friends, Neuling, when she found out why my father was arrested (for the alleged rape of my 10yo half-brother). She talked about how he should have all his limbs cut off and be castrated or killed. Though I was still defining my own sexuality at that age, (when I was 14), I felt bad hearing her just because she was talking about my own father. I argued with her about it and she stopped, though her feelings never changed toward him. As I discovered I was a pedophile I never felt too uncomfortable about hate-speech toward offenders, though, like you, I didn't comment much and I agreed only when appropriate. I disagree with violence and overly harsh punishment, but sympathize with the victims in such scenarios and agree with reasonable punishment. I always thought myself very different from offenders, and the people I knew who hated pedophiles only hated offenders, I thought. Only after I realized that some people hate others for their thoughts despite controlling their actions did I begin to feel some impulse to object, though I never did since I never cared for controversy. I'll talk about that sort of thing openly with my wife, but most others I won't.

As for worrying about whether my friends would or wouldn't accept me if they knew of my fantasies involving children, I only feel the need for one person to know and understand, and she does, though she doesn't like it. Still she loves me. But I see your point about the possible rejection of your friends meaning that they aren't really your friends. I think I tend to agree with Kevin (Chucky), that everyone has thoughts they'd like to keep quiet, and unless every one of my friends is a hypocrite, I believe most would accept me despite my urges. Even if I were an offender, I believe I have some friends and family who would never turn their backs on me. I can believe this because I've learned to forgive others and myself and love unconditionally. As long as I don't reject myself or others for being human, I think there must be others who do the same to the Nth degree.

I'm actually related to someone who sexually abused a child, and I suspect he's had more victims based on what I've heard. I don't hate people who have these thoughts, but someone who does act deserves to get hurt.

Hates a strong word, but I kinda do to be honest for anyone to harm a child.
They are lower than any one else in terms of crime... sorry if that offends anyone ... thoughts are one thing, sure.. but if someone acts upon their thoughts and molests, rapes etc, well I am not going to say what I think as it's offensive...

Isn't it self-hatred to hate another human being? It seems better all around to say "I hate abuse" rather than "I hate abusers."

S3 wrote:Isn't it self-hatred to hate another human being? It seems better all around to say "I hate abuse" rather than "I hate abusers."

It depends if you've been affected by this on a personal level. If someone's been abused sexually then they have every right to hate that person if they wish.

I do think some people have an agenda against pedophiles just for the sake of something to dislike. A lot of men will say they hate pedophiles, because you're hardly going to say " I have no problem with them" incase people think you could be that way yourself, so it's sort of out of paranoia to say " hang the bastards".

I don't have a problem with pedophiles who haven't offended and are seeking treatment, I dislike those who do offend and then try to justify their actions.