Hi not sure if this is a paraphilia

I think I need help. Ever since I was 14 I have been sexually attracted to little boys (ages 5-12). Not only that, the idea of incest and beastility also turn me on. I have constant fantasies about having sex with boys and even my own mother. When I was younger I even attempted sexual intercourse with my neighbor's dog.

I wish I wasn't this way, but no matter how hard I try, I can't push the thoughts out of my head. Im deeply religious and im afraid that if I cannot cure myself I will be denied God's love. I pray to him to help me but he is silent. Has he abbandoned me?

I was hopeing someone on here might also be cursed with my problem and be able to give me some advice. I need to get my urges under control before I hurt someone. Please, anything that any of you can offer would be deeply appreciated.

-Ryflip

It sounds like you do Ryflip.... if it's continuing to this day...

Your a pedophile. Or maybe your just attracted to things that are considered taboo.

My best advice is to stay away from any children or situations which might prompt you to commit a crime.

just out of curiousity are you catholic?

Butterfly Faerie wrote:It sounds like you do Ryflip.... if it's continuing to this day...

Yes it is. Im 19 btw.

Butterfly Faerie wrote:Your a pedophile. Or maybe your just attracted to things that are considered taboo.

My best advice is to stay away from any children or situations which might prompt you to commit a crime.

just out of curiousity are you catholic?

Its hard to stay away from kids. Both of my neighbors have boys, and at my church I see alot of attractive kids. Its like I get possessed when im around them and I try to talk with them and hung and tickle them whenever I can. Im afraid im going to lose control one day and molest one of them.

And no, im Southern Baptist. Jerk.

You need to go in for professional help then, and make others aware of your concern too...

Butterfly Faerie wrote:You need to go in for professional help then, and make others aware of your concern too...

No way! That would be way too embarrassing. Plus i live in a small town. People talk. Someone could find out and my life would be ruined.

Iv never told anyone. Im just trying this place because its completely anonymous.

I think it's important to get therapy... whether you're in a small town or not. The fact is that you admitted that you do not know whether you'd harm one of the young boys in your neighborhood, because of that it's important to talk to someone to gain control of what you are feeling, so that it doesn't happen.

Hoping someone else is cursed with this sickness is a little harsh although I must say I have felt that way before myself. This is a mighty lonely illness but you aren’t as alone as you might feel. I share your burden of having a paraphilia in fact I have a few. I have been diagnosed with pedophilia, necrophilia, and zoophilia tendencies. I was like you at one point thinking I know there is something really wrong with me but was to embarrassed and ashamed to tell anyone or ask for help. Basically I lived with the fear of knowing I was going to hurt a child I just didn’t know when or how. When I first sought help I was terrified I was pretty sure that just having the thoughts wasn’t illegal but I wasn’t for sure. So I went to my company’s employee assistance program and I asked if this was confidential then I fumbled the words that I was attracted to children they responded,”We can’t help with that you need to see a specialist”. Varying the details I played phone tag with some therapist till I found someone who wanted to work with me.

You wanted some advice well for starters the advice you have gotten so far is pretty good talking to a another human being who is nonjudgmental can be a huge help. As for some of the risky behavior you are engaging in you may not be able to see how dangerous or risky they really are. Look I get it there is a kind of high when I am around child that I find attractive. In the past I made excuses too tickle hug or have contact with them. The real dangerous thing is those excuses you make start to sound more and more legitimate until you have to gone to far and you have destroyed a child’s life and well your own too.

This is from true life experience if you feel like you might lose control yon need to put barriers in place to prevent you from going too far and a good limited term one is to stay away from children for the time being.

Ryflip wrote:

Butterfly Faerie wrote:You need to go in for professional help then, and make others aware of your concern too...

No way! That would be way too embarrassing. Plus i live in a small town. People talk. Someone could find out and my life would be ruined.

Iv never told anyone. Im just trying this place because its completely anonymous.

Yes, if people found out you were a pedophile, they would assume you have sex with boys or want to because lot of people think that's what a pedophile is because that's how they have been portrayed in the media. Seems like no one wants to hear what what pedophilia actually means. It means sexual attraction to children. Doesn't say anything about having sex with them or acting on it. Just look the word up in the dictionary everyone.

I think you're aware of this but you DO NOT want to goto prison for molesting a child. Get help, take prozac so it kills your sex drive, do something. This is about self-preservation now, not getting "fixed". Don't wonder if you should get help because as one of the above posters said, you are unsure of whether or not you will give in to your desires and take action. This will leave you in a very regrettable situation for atleast 20 years.

... and possibly chemical castration...
I'm not hating btw, just concerned.