Misery loves company. . .so where the fu#$ is mine??

It's New Years eve and I'm writing this from the loneliest place on earth, my couch sitting in my underwear while my wife is at a party probably telling everyone about our impending divorce. One of my favorite movie lines ever is from "Last Man Standing" starring Bruce Willis. If you've never seen it I suggest you rectify that, it's a great shoot 'em up flick set back during prohibition, also starring Christopher Walken. Anyway at some point when everything Bruce Willis does over the course of the movie catches up with him he says something to the effect of how "everybody pays the price, no exceptions, even a bum like me." That always stuck with because it's true. That's where I'm at right now. I've ###$ up too many times and now I'm paying for it. There's no escape from the reality that hell is waking life and eventually whatever you do wrong will catch up with you. Whether it be tomorrow or on your deathbed someday life will catch up to you and demands it's pound of flesh. It wasn't always like this though. Up until a couple years ago I had it all. A beautiful wife, newborn son, a great job and a handful of friends I really leaned on for laughs and general ballyhoo. I still have my son and job but I've alienated my friends and pushed my wife to divorce. I am in great company of those who had everything and still wanted more. Julius Ceasar, Hitler, Nepoleon, just to name a few. Granted they did much worse things in their lives than I have but that's meaningless since my sins are comparable on the scale that we all share. I always knew that what I was doing was wrong but I always thought that if it was the last time that it was ok and I would die with it. There never was a last time though. Ironically in my marriage there is a last time. The last time I kissed her, made love to her and shared a life with her, those last times are in the past. If you take nothing else from this post let it be that no matter how may positives you do to make up for the bad, it's never enough. Love is never enough. And good intentions will lead you straight to hell faster than a gunshot wound to head. And if you're going to post on this thread please don't tell me that it will all get better with time and you're sorry I feel this way. Post a movie quote or just share your insights on the self loathing dribble I just expelled upon anyone who reads this.

I'm home alone too buddy.

Actually, I made a point to move up to my other house (university student) just to get away from the discriminating eyes of my family for being alone.

One thing you said reminded me of a very good song by nine inch nails "Love is Not enough".

Anyways, here's to half a 26 of vodka to myself alone on new years eve, and here's to you, drunk probably aswell.

No actually my son is sleeping in his room so I'm stone sober. Coke is my drink tonight. Sorry to hear you're alone too. Burn one down for me.

Caffeine > if not = to alcohol.

Enjoy.