Bondage vs Stockholm's Syndrome

Hello paraphiliac,

This is for you, and anyone else interested in the subject.

I was reading about your fantasies and I need to share something with you. A while ago I met a wonderful man, we are kind of flirting with each other. He hinted he liked exactely the same thing you do.. we also dated a few times and made out ( never had sex).. he kept talking about tying my hands, and his ex gf who actually allowed him to do it etc.. I've never encountered this before, but I found it extremely repulsive, cause he also sent me some SM photos of tied up girls, via mobile and email.. Regarding everything else, this guy is my perfect match - he is caring, intelligent and attractive.

Now, I told him the thing is totally repulsive to me, and I don't like at all being constrained like this, and I feel it'd be best if I were honest with him rather than pretending I'm enjoying something I don't. He said it is OK, and never brought up the subject again . It seems it is not pathological, since he doesn't totally identify himself trough this paraphilia, evidently, because he is able to drop it. He also hinted it was present in him even in his childhood when one time he played with some kids, and tied them up, then left the room leaving them tied up for hours.


However, when I was thinking about this, it sort of crossed my mind that this scenario very much resembles the concept of Stockholm's syndrome ! A kidnapper and his tied up hostage ! The hostage is developing a deep emotional bond with her kidnapper! Perhaps, subconsciously, his wants this kind of emotional control as an ultimate goal ?

What do you think ? Does this make any sense ?

I'm not really sure how you mean that comparison. Do you mean like I would be the victim and I want that emotional bond with my captor? The man you talk about, does he like to be tied himself? Does he think he has a paraphilia? He may just enjoy the control not the tying itself. If you wouldn't mind being more specific I may be able to give you an answer.