Am I a pedophile?

Hello,im new in this forum.Please excuse me for my english,its not my ML.Now my question is this.When I was 13-14 I had sexual fantasies for all ages.Mostly I had fantasies about my peers but also for much younger and much older.When I became about 15-16 these sexual feelings dissapeared and I was totally attracted to my age and a bit younger(2-3 years younger).I thought I was a pedophile for this and I seeked help from professionals,i went to five psychiatrists and all diagnosed my with pocd.I have an extreme fear of being a pedophile,and I have lots of compulsions and obsessions.When I was even younger than 13 I also had homosexual fantasies.All dissapeared when I was a teen,but I am still afraid,have I repressed it?Or theres only POCD?I dont feel a sexual attraction for people under 15 though(If a 14 year old has adult like characteristics I might be attracted),but certainly I dont feel attracted to kids

I think you've answered your own question.

How?

You are not a paedophile. You have quite 'normal' attractions. I think you do have POCD.

Don't know, don't care.

Acquirai wrote:Don't know, don't care.

Then why even respond?

^ I don't see why I shouldn't. I answered his question "Am I a pedophile?" with "Don't know" and the second part "don't care" was simply just my opinion about it.

Anyways, if you're worried to be a pedophile then you usually aren't one. Also, the purpose of this forum is not to diagnose others as far as I'm aware, but to support those who are facing these "disorders" to stay "non-offending" or however you like to call it.

I'm sorry you're going through this, alternative94. It's really hard to deal with. obsessive-compulsive/ is another part of the forum with many people who describe similar issues and feelings.

The problem we have is that.
a] the forum rules say no diagnosing.
b] if someone breaks the rules and diagnoses anyway. That's going to feed the anxiety. I understand that you're just trying to get a definitive answer. But that process of trying is actually making things worse.

It's a horrible situation. It doesn't feel at all intuitive or rational. It's not like a maths problem where there are steps to take to work it out. And then a single right answer. If it feels like that, it's part of the problem itself. The problem is lying to you.

The thing is, you are bigger than your thoughts. You are bigger than your feelings. It's like you're the sky. And thoughts and feelings are clouds that pass over you. No one would say that the cloud WAS the sky. When the cloud passes the sky is still there. Totally unchanged. It's the same for you. A fear about an attraction is a passing cloud feeling. The thought of trying to analyse it and decide its rightness is a passing cloud thought. They will pass, you're still there, unchanged. If you can practice stepping back from the thoughts. Not deliberately thinking them. Just letting them drift through. That can be helpful in dealing with the anxiety here.

Are you still with a therapist for support?

Ada wrote:The problem we have is that.
a] the forum rules say no diagnosing.

Oh, do they? Take a look at his post counter, 2 posts as of today. The first two attempts to post are always reviewed by a moderator before actually posted. If it violates the forum rules in any way, you should've done something about it.

His posts don't violate the rules. Requesting a diagnosis is not the same as receiving anything in response to that. And we can definitely support people here. Even if we can't [and won't!] stick a label on them. My comment was just a reminder to other people to work within the rules here.

Also. You had realised this is a support forum, right? Support doesn't have to be 24 hour sweetness and light. But saying "don't care" and using accusatory language isn't coming across as any form of constructive response.