Wanting a partner

Ok, i have a question for you all out there, but it's been a while since i introduced myself and lots has happened since then, so here i go again. I guess i am a Paedo, but more accurately i call myself a Boy Lover. I am attracted exclusively to boys, but also love them and would never hurt them, ever. I am a young man in my 30's from the UK.

Because of the age i am attracted to, there is no scope for a relationship with that that would give me most happiness. I have tried just being close friends with boys, but it only ever ends in pain.
I am very, very lonely because of this sexual preference and that will not change as things are. So after thinking a lot, i realized i need someone in my life that gives me at least contentment, so i'm looking for a relationship with a guy, but obviously without the sexual attraction, so more of a platonic companionship than a gay one. This person would have to live close by and also be a Boy Lover, so we could share what we love and of course they would have to be nice, so we could develop that kind of friendship. I just don't want to be alone all my life.

But here's my question to you all. How do i find such a person, when no-one trusts anyone else and no-one talks about their feelings, (accept online where trust becomes even harder), because of the taboo nature of the feelings. There could be dozens of other Boy Lovers nearby, but i wouldn't know, because like me, they won't go telling every person they meet. So i was wondering, if any of you had any advice to meeting other Boy Lovers who live near me, in the hope of finding someone i can have a partnership with, so at least i can have someone who loves me and who i can share my feelings of boys with on a regular basis, without the clinicality of the internet and over the internet, no-one can really be sure who anyone is.

Anyone who can offer help, i would greatly appreciate it and of course, if any of you want the same and would like to chat, just let me know.

Thanks for reading.

S

Unfortunately my only piece of advice is to be very careful about who you agree to ever meet and where. Are the authorities ever concerned about minor-attracted people meeting up if their conversations have been monitored?

May I also ask what ages you are attracted to?

Thanks for the reply @Mustelidae

I am attracted to ages approx 8-16


I'd like to add, obviously the person i want to meet and have a partnership with would need to be over 16 because of the law.

Thank you. I'm a 20 year old male attracted to women and boys aged 12-15. I'm not in the UK. I'd love more friends as well so best of luck in your search.

I'm 33 years old and in exactly the same situation. I am attracted to young boys. I would never act on my feelings, but I feel really lonely and wish I had some friends I could discuss this with. If anyone would like to talk and possibly become friends, please message me.

While I understand what you are feeling, I'm in my 40's and still a virgin, I'm really uncomfortable with the way you want to solve your problem. I can't help but think its only going to lead to some kind of illegal activity. Be it sharing child porn or worse providing the courage and context for one of you to attempt a physical act with a minor.

It's a powder keg and you're thinking of lighting the fuse.

My advise, call the guys at StopItNow (http://www.stopitnow.org.uk/). Through them you can get help to better come to terms with who you are and how to pursue proper relationships, you'll also meet guys in a similar situation to yourself in a much safer environment.

---
(2 weeks and 2 days since last relapse)

InTheUK wrote:While I understand what you are feeling, I'm in my 40's and still a virgin, I'm really uncomfortable with the way you want to solve your problem. I can't help but think its only going to lead to some kind of illegal activity. Be it sharing child porn or worse providing the courage and context for one of you to attempt a physical act with a minor.

It's a powder keg and you're thinking of lighting the fuse.

My advise, call the guys at StopItNow (http://www.stopitnow.org.uk/). Through them you can get help to better come to terms with who you are and how to pursue proper relationships, you'll also meet guys in a similar situation to yourself in a much safer environment.

---
(2 weeks and 2 days since last relapse)

@InTheUk: Hi, While i appreciate your reply, you have got me totally wrong. I simply want a Boyfriend with whom i can share my life with so i am not lonely, i only say it would have to be a Bl because they would need to accept me for who i am. It will not fuel any fantasies or create more likelyhood of any crime. It is not an answer to 'fix' my problem, because it can't simply be 'fixed' as such, but more help me cope with the lonliness. Adult relationships are perfectly legal and can offer me some sort of happiness. I don't mean to be rude, but you are WRONG .I will find someone one day and i will NEVER hurt a child, neither physically or via cp. I trust myself to be virtuous and having a Bl friend would not change that. You may be ok with being alone forever, but i am not. However i will check the website you offered. I have already quite come to terms with who i am, hence why i say i want an Adult partner, because i know i am a Bl and can't have what i crave in the real world. Some of us need help more than others, i just need a friend.
confused30
Consumer 0
Consumer 0

Posts: 6
Joined: Mon May 05, 2014 11:17 am
Local time: Tue Oct 13, 2015 6:07 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

It could be very dangerous ground as intheuk says.

The issue is how could you ever meet someone the same, and having a platonic relationship is not the same as having someone to be sexual with.

How could you know the other person you chose to be with has never abused a child before?

If they were found out to have abused a child in the future you would be implicated too, do you think you would be believed you didn't know about it?

I say the same about people here who say they are paedophiles and they want to work with children, all the stories of people who work with children being busted for CP or abusing children that come up, why even put yourself in a situation that could cause you to escalate your desires?

I am sorry but I really think you are deluding yourself, the chance of you meeting a another guy who will admit being a "boylover" as you put it and having a loving non sexual relationship is slim to none.

Why not look for a proper gay relationship if that is what you want even if it is someone younger as long as they are of legal age 18+?

This board sucks. People here are way not nice so i am going to try to have this thread removed.
I am done here. I hope if i now take my life you will all think twice before making me believe i will be forever alone

Please don't kill yourself. You are going to run into people who disagree with you everywhere in life. Everyone is trying to be supportive in their own way. People are just making sure that you are carefuland stay safe. No one wants you to be alone or thinks that you will be. They are trying to be supportive in their own way. Airwolffan has gone through an offenders course I believe. No judgement on his character but people who go through them tend to focus on the dangers and triggers for minor attracted people. That doesn't mean you have to accept everything they say and take it to heart. I'm sorry that you don't like this forum but please don't give up.