Are you distressed?

mazeoflife wrote:

cumulusjames wrote:Then you need some sort of therapy. I imagine there might be some sort of barrier psychologically. I doubt it is true you can't get turned on by men, perhaps you just don't know how to get turned on by men?

I sure as hell hope thats the case. And I am seeing a psychotherapist right now who specializes in treating deeply entrenched emotional problems, which in my opinion is where pedophilia roots from. The problem is how hard it actually is to unravel these emotional issues that could have led to pedophilia. It could take years or a decade for all I know, if it even does work.

I think this spiritual teacher in the link I am posting below is spot on with how pedophilia forms. I don't think it is a sexual orientation or something that we are born with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe1hVptKM80

That video triggered the hell out of me....

cumulusjames wrote:

mazeoflife wrote:

cumulusjames wrote:Then you need some sort of therapy. I imagine there might be some sort of barrier psychologically. I doubt it is true you can't get turned on by men, perhaps you just don't know how to get turned on by men?

I sure as hell hope thats the case. And I am seeing a psychotherapist right now who specializes in treating deeply entrenched emotional problems, which in my opinion is where pedophilia roots from. The problem is how hard it actually is to unravel these emotional issues that could have led to pedophilia. It could take years or a decade for all I know, if it even does work.

I think this spiritual teacher in the link I am posting below is spot on with how pedophilia forms. I don't think it is a sexual orientation or something that we are born with.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe1hVptKM80

That video triggered the hell out of me....

I am sorry. I would be interested to know why it did if you want to share.

Because much about my childhood was painful. I think she talks mostly nonsense, but she pressed some buttons. The only thing that was interesting is that she talked about neural pathways and mindfulness.

cumulusjames wrote:Because much about my childhood was painful. I think she talks mostly nonsense, but she pressed some buttons. The only thing that was interesting is that she talked about neural pathways and mindfulness.

What do you think of her idea that pedophiles can change their attractions if they can reclaim their innocence? I think I agree with her idea about the idea of pedophiles being attracted to children as a way to fulfill their lack of innocence. We (pedophiles) are subconsciously trying to connect with that part of ourselves that we have lost sight of.

mazeoflife wrote:

cumulusjames wrote:Because much about my childhood was painful. I think she talks mostly nonsense, but she pressed some buttons. The only thing that was interesting is that she talked about neural pathways and mindfulness.

What do you think of her idea that pedophiles can change their attractions if they can reclaim their innocence? I think I agree with her idea about the idea of pedophiles being attracted to children as a way to fulfill their lack of innocence. We (pedophiles) are subconsciously trying to connect with that part of ourselves that we have lost sight of.

I think we need to be careful not to offend the so called fixed paedophiles here. But I was halfway through a science degree when I was raided, and I have been reading popular science books for a long time, that is why I believe that you can change if you want to, and I can revert back to my 'normal' sexuality, given the chance. And I did just that with an extremely attractive 23 yr old a couple of weeks ago.

My view is this: from an evolutionary perspective orientation can only describe attraction to gender. Preference is how you would describe body shape/personality/age etc. What is enjoyable about emotional intimacy and the enjoyment of sex are not the same thing, as married heterosexual people want you to believe. People disliked gays because we have sex for the sake of having sex. What is truly sex about? Sensations you feel in your body. What is producing those sensations is just a story in your mind. Whether that story is old man or young boy, the sensations are generally the same. Using mindfulness and paying attention only to the fact sensations are pleasurable, not engaging in stories about who is providing those sensations could be a valid way to change ones preferences, but leave ones orientation intact.

When I gave oral sex to men when I was a boy, something I remember noticing was that they hardly looked at me when I looked up. So what was important? The physical sensation or the fact I was a boy?

Yes, I'm very distressed by my attraction. I know that I didn't choose my attractions but I have reinforced it through masturbation which is entertaining it (Thoughts vs. action). There are people out there that are strong and don't let things get them down, but I am not one of those people. I probably am the worst candidate for pedophilia since I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety disorder on top of everything else. For me, I see a cute teenage boy and then feel depressed right away. For some people they enjoy their attractions but for me I must leave when there's children around. It's not worth the anxiety and depressive thoughts.

Alpenglade wrote:Yes, I'm very distressed by my attraction. I know that I didn't choose my attractions but I have reinforced it through masturbation which is entertaining it (Thoughts vs. action). There are people out there that are strong and don't let things get them down, but I am not one of those people. I probably am the worst candidate for pedophilia since I suffer from clinical depression and anxiety disorder on top of everything else. For me, I see a cute teenage boy and then feel depressed right away. For some people they enjoy their attractions but for me I must leave when there's children around. It's not worth the anxiety and depressive thoughts.

See my post above your one, what do you make of that?

I have seen many psychologists, and they all say that I'm "gay" not a pedophile. I strongly disagree with them myself. Even if I'm "gay" I still wouldn't act on it because I'm a Christian and it goes against everything I know. I would never want to shame my family and my name by letting everyone know I was "gay" even though I don't consider myself gay in the least.

Alpenglade wrote:I have seen many psychologists, and they all say that I'm "gay" not a pedophile. I strongly disagree with them myself. Even if I'm "gay" I still wouldn't act on it because I'm a Christian and it goes against everything I know. I would never want to shame my family and my name by letting everyone know I was "gay" even though I don't consider myself gay in the least.

Your religion has taught you it is better to be a paedophile than to be gay?

Think only Richard Dawkins could think of an appropriate response to that. It is why some of us sometimes think religion is a force for evil more than it does good.

You most definitely can't refuse your sexuality because of what anyone else might think. That's terrible. In this sense both your family and your religion are committing an act of psychological violence against you. I did know an 18 yr old years ago from a conservative religious background, he joined in with us online and seemed to have 2 different "characters", he would call himself Joe Sometimes and Damien at others. Once I convinced him to come to the local gay bar to meet some of us I was presented with this very confused and troubled young man. His religious upbringing had traumatized the poor chap. He came to the bar regularly, but I never knew him to have sex. I had to spend many nights on MSN counselling him out of suicide. If religion can do such things to a person then you can keep it.

And you will find that the bible does not condemn homosexuality. It has one ambiguous line, that is all. I know an openly gay Catholic monk.

Of course pedophilia is WORSE than homosexuality in religion.

And that's my dilemma.

I know that I'm attracted to boys, but to try to be with an 18+ year old that seems younger (think Mike18) isn't an option either. I was raised religious and it has a way of burying itself deep in your mind. There's no real way around it. That's why you often seen ex-christian's going off the deep end and going crazy. Because they were brought up with it at an early age and to deny it is to go to hell forever.

That's why they have a "nothing" to live for attitude, because they've lost "hope and salvation". That's why religion looks crazy to someone not raised in it.

For me, I don't attend church or anything. But it's that "What if it's true" type thinking about religion that has me always wondering.

I don't post on here much or other forums for that matter because I know all the controversy that people bring up as soon as they hear "God" or "religion" being mentioned. I know that religion CAN cause much harm if you're a person that doesn't fit their motto of beliefs. It's very easy to go along with their system if you're heterosexual and want to marry and have children. But religion is not for you if you're anything but.

To be raised this way and realize early on that you're different and don't fit in their box, causes problems in and of itself. Add to that a sexuality that you didn't choose and you soon realize you don't fit in anywhere.

One of the things I hate the most, are those people who attend church and put on a big show with their better than you attitude and family. Then you find out that they're molesting girls in the church or "tapping" their toes in a bathroom stall. Talk about a bunch of hypocrites.

No, for me I'm a lone wolf and that seems to be my destiny. I don't fit in anywhere and I've long ago mostly accepted it. Sexuality is too complicated. It really is. Religion tries to simplify it but there's obviously more to sexuality than is in the Bible. For me, however, I have to deal with horrible depression. This seems more the issue these days than what goes through my head when I masturbate. And then there's that, "What if it's all true in the end and the Christians had it all figured out" type thinking. It's difficult if not outright impossible to stop this type of thinking for me anyway.