Controlling Our Thoughts

As I read on this Forum, I wonder whether people with terrible thoughts try to monitor
their minds and imagination?

I doubt that I have any more self-control or willpower than the next person, yet I don't allow bad thoughts to percolate and take up residence in my head. If I'm really mad at someone and feel like punching them in the head, I switch that thought off immediately, unless I need to punch him in the head in self-defense which has happened only a handful of times in a lifetime. If I start having a fantasy that I feel is wrong (having sex with a married man), I can and do change it in an instant.

We can control out heart rate and mood by what we're thinking; why not take some responsibility for and control over our thoughtlife? Some people seem perfectly fine with living with a sewer of a mind and the conflict and unhappiness that ensues. Where is the joy and peace in living with a sewer in one's head?

Do you feel your mind has control over you, or do you have control over your mind?

( BTW, when it comes to one's sexuality, I don't think you can just switch that by changing your thoughts. Fetishes may be the same? )

( BTW, when it comes to one's sexuality, I don't think you can just switch that by changing your thoughts. Fetishes may be the same? )

At least you acknowledge that. Are you suggesting that people who don't have control over thoughts should just change that?Like "Oh,you are obsessive-compulsive?Why don't you try not being obsessive-compulsive,maybe that would help?" It's good for you you're in full control over your mind(or say you are),but not everybody is or can be.

Well, specific to my sexuality, I wonder what the following constitutes. I seem to be quite incapable of sexual fantasies surrounding prepubescent girls. I have always said that this either indicates a very poor imagination or a very good one. I don't like imagining things that might hurt them, physically or emotionally. Even in my dreams (i.e. when I'm asleep), where the long arm of the law doesn't reach, I rarely get to first base, let alone second or third. Every w*nk I've had since I can remember has just been about looking at girls' (clothed) bodies on YouTube or imagining them and that sight is enough. Sorry if that's crude, but perhaps that illustrates what kind of thoughts I have in relation to my so-called paraphilia.

It's a very good question, and I think our minds are much more complicated than we're conscious of, in terms of how subconscious wants/needs can drive us, and basically control us at times.

I made a thread some time ago, about the propensity of paraphiles to delude themselves, and more recently I've noticed similar patterns of thought in my own mind when I've been fighting addictions (nothing heinous, just alcohol and cigarettes!).

There's a part of my subconscious that wants to believe necrophilia is acceptable, and it uses all the same tricks on my conscious mind as the part of my brain that tells me: "Just one cigarette/drink is perfectly fine!"

I think without a degree of self-discipline/willpower, and the mental clarity to really be honest with oneself, it's a lot easier than some might think for aspects of the mind to take control over conscious thoughts and one's better judgement.

One case that springs to mind is the guy in Russia, who was found living with over a hundred mummified girls who he'd exhumed. He scared me, because his control of his own mind was long gone, and in his warped version of reality, he was taking excellent care of those girls, holding birthday parties for them etc.

The ideal state would be to be without resentment and other thoughts and feelings that cloud judgement but it is naïve to think that one can attain this by repressing one’s feelings because then they fester inside you and lead people to deny to themselves what kind of person they are which can’t be healthy.

It is better to externalize feelings construed as negative in controlled environments like venting anger through sport or listening to heavy metal.

I am a pedophile and I’ve never tried to repress my thought or feelings. I am pro-contact and I arrived at my beliefs by not being afraid of entertaining controversial thoughts because there is a difference to entertaining ideas and accepting them. This to me allows critical thinking and progress.

Also, people love metaphors and it is a reoccurring theme to liken ideas that one doesn’t like as “dirty”, “filth” etc. Remember that sewers play an important role in society and you wouldn’t want to be without them. It is silly to reject unclean thought because the world is an unclean place and by trying to reject a “mind like a sewer” you resist being able to internalize the world.

Like Homer Simpson said: “You’re afraid to be human. Because humans are obnoxious sometimes. Humans hate things.” It’s not ideal and I’m not implying that this applies to you or that you’re delusional. I think it’s important to be in touch with your emotions even if they’re unpleasant.

Controlling your own emotions involves being able to feel them, acknowledge them and externalize them while realizing the harm they can cause.

And it will cause greater happiness because one will need to hide nothing from themselves.

I distinguish between emotions and thoughts. I don't think we can control
our emotions, but I think we can control our thoughts to a large extent,
and I don't see that as a bad thing. In fact, thoughts can probably affect our emotions to a degree.
If I don't really want to fantasize about sex with married men, why should I? You might call it repressive; I would call it wise

I'm all for venting as long as it isn't done to hurt others.

Very interesting to hear the different opinions. Keep them coming.

Mine is only one opinion.

Prairie gal wrote:As I read on this Forum, I wonder whether people with terrible thoughts try to monitor their minds and imagination?

My mind is often filled with thoughts and fantasies of torture and murder. I don't view them as 'terrible' thoughts because I get a lot of pleasure from them. What I don't enjoy are the strong urges they often produce because it makes me want to act on impulse and controlling that is very frustrating.

If I'm really mad at someone and feel like punching them in the head, I switch that thought off immediately

I don't think about torturing and killing people because I'm mad at them. I don't even know them. They're just objects to me.

My violent fantasies are motivated by a desire for power and control and the sexually sadistic pleasure that I experience from hurting people.

Do you feel your mind has control over you, or do you have control over your mind?

I feel like my mind has control over me sometimes.

I have some impulse-control issues, but I can control myself for the most part.

My mind IS me. So the question of whether I control it or vice versa is nonsensical to me.

As to my darker thoughts (and I don't count most my sexual fantasies about children among them) I figure half the point of having an imagination is so I can indulge fantasies that would be abhorent to ever enact in the real world. If I start fantasizing about punching someone in the face, I don't see any reason I should want to stop that fantasy. I don't want to hurt people in the real world (for the most part), so shifting that impulse into the perfectly safe realm of fantasy, where I am in control of every aspect, and the consequences for them and for me are nonexistent seems like the obvious thing to do.

As to policing my thoughts, or willfully trying to change my thought patterns, I tried that once. It worked. And that scared the crap out of me so thoroughly, I never wanted to do anything like that again.

You see, as I said at the top, my mind is me. I am defined by the pattern of thoughts, memories, experiences, impulses, etc. If something happens to that pattern, then "me" ceases to exist, to be replaced with someone else. Maybe someone who'll fit in better with this deeply sick society, but that won't matter to me, because I'll be dead, and the new person will be driving my body.

Prairie gal wrote:As I read on this Forum, I wonder whether people with terrible thoughts try to monitor
their minds and imagination?

I doubt that I have any more self-control or willpower than the next person, yet I don't allow bad thoughts to percolate and take up residence in my head. If I'm really mad at someone and feel like punching them in the head, I switch that thought off immediately, unless I need to punch him in the head in self-defense which has happened only a handful of times in a lifetime. If I start having a fantasy that I feel is wrong (having sex with a married man), I can and do change it in an instant.

We can control out heart rate and mood by what we're thinking; why not take some responsibility for and control over our thoughtlife? Some people seem perfectly fine with living with a sewer of a mind and the conflict and unhappiness that ensues. Where is the joy and peace in living with a sewer in one's head?

Do you feel your mind has control over you, or do you have control over your mind?

Great post.

There are several reasons why what you are proposing is hidden and will be rejected. For instance, it would collapse capitalism. It would also be the end of the state and it's wars, prisons, and other institutions of violence. It would also spell the end of self, because most people are addicted to their hurt and anger. Mind-training will never be taught in school, it will never be advertised on TV, and if you bring it up most people will tell you you're a kook or a hippie or a dreamer.

Mindfulness certainly does work and has a history as old as history itself. Today the tradition continues to be refined by the likes of Eckhart Tolle, Neo-Advaita, ACIM, Zendos, and neurologists like Rick Hansen. I certainly encourage you to pursue this and I hope others, once they can no longer endure themselves and their anguish and fixations will open their ears to you.

Namaste!

Thoughts do not matter, only actions.

"It's not a sin if no one else was involved." (Thinking is NEVER a sin, especially when you can't control your thoughts anyway!).