starting a project?

ive been thinking about this for a while now and i was wondering if anyone else has thought about the same thing?

what if we start a project help people who have been abused like a non profit or something?

no propaganda, not not trying to send a message, just helping people

it's just a thought, what do you think?

really nobody?

i cant be the only one who's thought about bridging the gap between pedophiles and victims to try and create something helpful and constructive, i know it seems far fetched but it's worth a shot isnt it?

You aren't the first person to think of it, no. I don't know about outside the forums. But some people here have tried in the past. To be honest. I think it would be far, far more helpful. To think about how to work with other people with paedophilia. Perhaps newbies here who are embarrassed to post. Perhaps teens who are just starting to realise this might be an issue for them. There's so little support in general for them. That you could make a real difference there.

People who have been abused are all working through the experience at different paces. And with different emphasis on parts of it. Vastly different feelings. If you are talking to someone one to one. And both of you are very open and careful about the other's position. Which takes HUGE courage on both sides. Then it can be helpful. But in practice, I've seen several long term posters in both Paraphilias and Abuse. Leave very shortly after attempts to bridge the two in conversation. I can't know for sure that the cause for everyone were those conversations. But it's a hell of a coincidence. And I don't think the gains were worth it in the least. Sorry if that's a downer. It's just my experience here. Both forums need to feel safe for the majority of people posting there. It's hard to treat people individually enough to make anything useful out of it.

i do alot of science so im use used to failure XD it's will take alot more than a failed attempt to discourage me from to heal the wounds between the 2 groups and trying to make meaningful progress

you said from the paraphilas and abuse forums, does that mean people from the abuse forums have come here trying to do the same thing?

while i care deeply about the newbies that come to the forum, focusing the majority of my time helping one person at a time dosent solve the problem, while im happy to help them though their tough times it is often a crap shoot as to what mindset they will have when they stabilize, meaning either pro or non contact because of the information they get through their experience on this forum ( personally it took me a long time to sort through the propaganda and fact ) but thats only because research on pedophile is damn near impossible to find so we have to rely on each other for guidance and that information is often bias

i feel i have to try, for the sake of a better future of both pedophiles and the victims and even if i fail the information i learn will be infinitely valuable for trying to make things better in the future, it's all one big learning and refining process

siphon wrote:you said from the paraphilas and abuse forums, does that mean people from the abuse forums have come here trying to do the same thing?

Rarely. More often, people from Paraphilia have gone into Abuse to "help." This isn't science. It's an art. And it requires sensitivity. Many people who have been abused do not want to be "helped" by a paedophile. Period. No matter how good their intentions. It's important to respect that and not try to force things.

siphon wrote:i feel i have to try, for the sake of a better future of both pedophiles and the victims and even if i fail the information i learn will be infinitely valuable for trying to make things better in the future, it's all one big learning and refining process

What I'm warning against is using people who've already been through a lot. [Either coming to terms with abuse. And / Or. Coming to terms with a paraphilia.] As guinea pigs. I appreciate you mean well. But you need to tread very lightly and be very respectful. Or else you're adding to the abuse one group or other has to deal with.

In practice I think your goal is too large. "Healing wounds" is too big a remit. If you refine that, you might find it brings up genuinely helpful ways to help. If you are "doing to" rather than "working with." It's much more likely that help will feel patronising or abusive. Which is 100% not what you intend from anything you've said so far.

Hi guys, I'm quite new here so be gentle!

Fistly I do not think it is a good idea for anyoy sex offender or anyone with a sexual attraction to children to be thinking about or involved in any project involving children. One of the cogitive destortions peple who work with sex offendes identify time and time again is that the paedophile believes he is 'helping' the child. There would be no public appetite for paedophiles helping children.

I do have a couple of ideas.

1. A resource for healthy porn habits - this would be a database of confirmed legal porn, information on porn addiction, aiming to stop former non-paedophiles like me straying into illegal material, how to deal with unhealthy/immorral porn habits, information and where to get help for problematic porn consumption and if you start to look for or happen across and download ileegal material.

2. Something is needed to support sex offenders. Sex offenders are usually released back into the community at some point. They are very isolated, any support they may receive is from the authorities who do not have thier interests at heart, leading them to be isloated and victimized. If an offender is to rebuild thier life in a meaningful way, and not reoffend they need support. Our current system only offers vengeful punative measures, ostracization, 'othering' and shaming. The sex offender has to struggle to rebuild his life. Creating a situation of utter despair for the sex offender is not helpful. The offence has been committed, the damage done, now a new offence must be prevented. The treatment of sex offenders currently is nothing short of capitol punishment.

So helping sex offenders get back on thier feet, but providing a non-judgemental and supportive place they can turn to also. The professionals a sex offender will encounter will allways disbelieve the sex offender and hold him in utter contempt. If the sex offender is to go on to lead a meaningful and offence free life the very least he needs is compassionate and genuine support from other humans. Dehumanizing and otehring are harmful.

In my case, for example, I may go to prison for 6 - 12 months. I will lose my home. I will come out and have no home, no prospects of employment, no friends and no family, I will likely go straight back on the booze and lonlyness and depression will get the better of me. having no one to turn to and no one to talk to is going to hurt so much. Where can I go for help with rebuilding my life? Where can I find another human to talk to? To be so utterly alone, isolated from all other humans, in severe depresion on the streets of london with only a can of strong beer for company is not something I am looking forward to.

I applaud siphon for his willingness to help. And I think Ada is right, this is a very touchy subject, and people are sensitive and fragile.

In the past, I have been in groups in which we all wanted to "do something". we started small, say, all reading a book, and then discussing it afterwards.

Something like that, small steps. Maybe.