I wish I was her...

I understand. I have felt similarly myself. If there was some way I could have suffered in place of these children I would do it.

You really need help immediately!!

I was one of those children and I did suffer! Actually "suffer" isn't even close to a word I would use to truly describe that incredible hell. If any of you that believe its appealing in some way to be sexually abused I think there's something extremely wrong with you and I think you should accept my opinion of how insane that idea is and it should make you get help right away.

I'm a pedophile yeah, but this kind of thing I will never understand. People tell me that I didn't deserve to be abused and I really struggle with whether that's true or not, because sometimes I feel horrible about myself, because that's what abuse does to kids. It makes them feel horrible about themselves! If any of you went through that kind of insanity you NEVER would post this topic.

Truthfully I'm glad none of you know what its like to be physically and sexually and psychologically tortured and terrorized when you were children. I believe that no child should ever be touched inappropriately or forced to do sexual things or raped. As a victim of seriously severe sexual abuse I am absolutely horrified that this topic was created in the first place, and I'm mystified that others responded only to agree.

CrayonSuperhero wrote:You really need help immediately!!

I was one of those children and I did suffer! Actually "suffer" isn't even close to a word I would use to truly describe that incredible hell. If any of you that believe its appealing in some way to be sexually abused I think there's something extremely wrong with you and I think you should accept my opinion of how insane that idea is and it should make you get help right away.

I'm a pedophile yeah, but this kind of thing I will never understand. People tell me that I didn't deserve to be abused and I really struggle with whether that's true or not, because sometimes I feel horrible about myself, because that's what abuse does to kids. It makes them feel horrible about themselves! If any of you went through that kind of insanity you NEVER would post this topic.

Truthfully I'm glad none of you know what its like to be physically and sexually and psychologically tortured and terrorized when you were children. I believe that no child should ever be touched inappropriately or forced to do sexual things or raped. As a victim of seriously severe sexual abuse I am absolutely horrified that this topic was created in the first place, and I'm mystified that others responded only to agree.

It is understandable how you feel about this because of everything you have been through but what you have to remember is that whilst people like me say "I wish it happened to me" there is a fine difference between the fantasy of being abused and actually being abused, I know that if I where to be abused it most likely would not be enjoyable as my fantasies lead me to believe.

Nobody ever deserves to be abused and I do not advocate abuse in any way even if a child at the time agree's to it, abuse is abuse no matter which way you look at it but for me the fantasy is there of being in that position, again for me this an example of my many paraphiles blending together. I am very submissive and a pedophile so for me the idea of being in that position as a child being submissive is attractive to me.

I do not like admitting this and this to me is harder to admit than saying I am a pedophile. Please understand that whilst I have this fantasy I do not advocate anything kind or abuse and I am great full that I was never abused.

Tulula.

CrayonSuperhero wrote:F.....................cking totally gross! You need a lot of help!

I can't see how this accords with your claim to treat everyone with respect and dignity in your signature. It's unsupportive, disrespectful and derogatory.

CrayonSuperhero wrote:As a victim of seriously severe sexual abuse I am absolutely horrified that this topic was created in the first place, and I'm mystified that others responded only to agree.

Maybe you should try to avoid topics that are triggering to you?

Rinkusu wrote:

CrayonSuperhero wrote:As a victim of seriously severe sexual abuse I am absolutely horrified that this topic was created in the first place, and I'm mystified that others responded only to agree.

Maybe you should try to avoid topics that are triggering to you?

You do have a point but then Crayon also has a point, as someone who was abused it is incredibly hard to see why anyone would "want" to be in that position. I do not think that this is a common aspect among pedophiles but for me it is and it is something that is hard to explain.

Tulula.

I want to apologize to depraved_niceguy and everyone who responded in this thread. I am usually very nice and not usually judgmental or critical. I apologize to the members here who were offended by my replies. It was not my intention to be cruel or insulting to anyone. Rinkusu is absolutely right, my replies were based on the fact that I was triggered when I read it, but I wasn't sure what the post was about since the title was so vague. I realize that's no excuse and my words that followed were thoughtless and inconsiderate, and worse... contrary to anything meaningful to a person interested in indifference and commonality in a forum of support.

I don't know if anyone here can understand that I'm not my typical self when I am triggered, and my actions and behavior immediately after can seem cruel, and I admit now that having posted what I did was absolutely cruel and not very considerate of other members here. I've only started learning about triggers a short time ago and I'm working really hard to identify all of those triggers and to recognize the available safe ways around them. I try my best everyday to be nice to everyone, because I have always felt that my revenge for the people who abused me and the way in which they abused me DO NOT define who I am and the person I want to become. I want to be the contradiction to my abusers. I realized today, after I reread this post, my replies, and other member's replies, how wrong my reaction was and I'm ashamed that all of my hard work sometimes results in not who I want to become, but instead who my abusers wanted me to become.

So again I want to say that I am sincerely remorseful (most especially to depraved_niceguy) for my replies here and I hope that I haven't hurt anyone. I would never want to do that. I hope you will understand and forgive me.

Crayon Superhero

Triggers are frustrating and can cause you to react in ways you otherwise wouldn't. i've been there.

The last time i was in the psych ward I learned about how anger is a secondary emotion. It's always covering up something else, like pain or just not wanting to feel vulnerable. I guess in your case it would be pain. It's easier to get mad than to feel hurt.

It's understandable.

CrayonSuperhero wrote:but I wasn't sure what the post was about since the title was so vague.

I must admit that I may have misunderstood what depraved_niceguy meant in his original post.

Rinkusu wrote:I think I understand how the OP feels.

I probably should have been more clear with what I meant here. I have no sexual desire to be abused.

Considering what you have been through Superhero, I don't think you need to feel bad
or apologize. People should read your story Introducing Myself so they can better understand
your reaction. A tongue lashing from you is foreplay compared to what you had to endure.

I support you in that I totally do not understand fantasies about abuse/violence/rape either.
It seems twisted and sick, but I think on this forum, pretty much anything goes. I usually can't
take more than a few posts at a time since some make me physically ill. There are a few people on here who have done terrible things to children in real life though I trust that they are trying to control their urges and not reoffend.

Also, numerous posters on here are good and decent people who suffer a lot because of their
attractions to children and deserve our efforts to be understood and supported. They need a safe place to share honestly without being judged and criticized at every turn.

You might be better off getting support on the Abuse forum, Superhero.