My aunt triggers my humiliation paraphilia

From the time when I was very young I've always been intimidated and aroused by my aunt. My aunt is so different from my mother, she was a model when she was younger and she dresses a lot more feminine and classy than my mother does (my mother is more of a tomboy). I remember as a child the first time I visited my aunt's house and my mother told me that my aunt's children weren't allowed to sit on their beds during the day time and if they were caught doing that they would be spanked, I remember hearing this and feeling a tremble of fear but also a tingle of arousal at knowing that my attractive aunt was so strict with her children and I was imagining her treating me that way.

When I was a teenager my mother and my aunt had a huge falling out over their mother's inheritance (my grandmother) with my aunt winning the house and nearly a million dollars worth of my deceased grandmother's possessions. My aunt felt really empowered by this victory and she acted very insulting in a phone call with my mother and in the process my aunt said negative things about me, she said that I was a skinny sissy who didn't play any sports. That was the last time my mother and my aunt had contact for several years until recently when my aunt's daughter was killed in a car accident and she pleaded with my mother to start speaking with her again, surprisingly my mother agreed (I think my mother enjoys the drama of having a rivalry with her sister so not speaking with her goes against how my mother approaches things). However, the embarrassing thing for me is that my aunt has never apologized for calling me a skinny sissy and that fact totally triggers my humiliation paraphilia.

I will tell part 2 of this story later on.

Part 2

This part is really difficult for me to talk about because it shows how deeply rooted my humiliation paraphilia is. Recently when I visited my aunt she asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said no and then she totally shocked me by asking if I had a boyfriend. OH GOD! I was literally trembling when she said that, I don't actually have a boyfriend but I had such an urge to say YES, I wanted to confess to my aunt that she had been right all along, that I was just a skinny sissy queer. I craved that humiliation and I knew if I confessed to being a gayboy with a boyfriend that my aunt would be thrilled because she would love sticking the knife into my mother's back one more time with the knowledge that my mother had a gay son. My mother is old fashioned, she's homophobic, she would be embarrassed by having a gay son.

It took all of my strength to resist saying that I have a boyfriend and I could see from the smirk on my aunt's face before I had answered the question that she had hoped I would say yes to having a boyfriend. And it is revealing that she didn't ask me this question in the presence of my mother, she wanted to go behind my mother's back and score another quiet victory over her while maintaining the phony nature of the new "peaceful" relationship they have with each other. So I was able to say no, that I didn't have a boyfriend, but as a way to still humiliate myself I didn't raise my voice or get angry at my aunt for asking that question, I wanted her to know it was okay for her to question my sexuality and that I wasn't going to raise a fuss over it.