WET DREAM ABOUT MY ABUSER - poss. trigger

I really feel the need to share what has left me feeling confused and also ashamed.
I am in my early 40s and was abused by my female neighbour between the ages of 7 and 10.
I have only recently started to address this and try and understand and work through it.
Since finding this forum I have swung between feeling reassured and perplexed. I never felt "abused"and admit to having enjoyed the "game playing" and the "secret" I shared but now recognise that it WAS abuse and that it has been repressed and needs to be confronted.
I have been more and more preoccupied with the memories and each day seems to bring more and more "snapshot" flashes of memory.
I was sexualised at an early age and I cannot remember a time when I didnt masturbate but remember specifically when I went from dry-cumming to my first ever "wet" orgasm but I never ever once had a wet dream - I have had sex dreams aplenty but never did I ejaculate during the reveries.
That is why I need to share this now - I had my first ever "wet dream" two nights ago but I am now freaking out because it centred around me now, as the adult I am, looking on to the neighbour abusing me with her sister - I was watching it happen and masturbating in my dream at what was occurring to me in my past.
Why did this make me have my first ever wet dream at 40+ years old FFS !!! I feel like I have let myself down and any progress I was making is gone.
Has anybody else experienced this ?

All sorts of sexual stuff can happen in dreams, and it doesn't mean that's what does it for you. Still, if you enjoyed the sexual activity at the time, why wouldn't it be arousing to you now? All my first sexual experiences are still arousing to me now. I don't think anyone will be able to offer concrete answers here; I'm sure you're aware of this, and I'm sure you're aware that in the end it's how you feel about everything that counts. But how you feel about the situation can be swayed by various things, such as how you are encouraged to feel about what happened now versus how you actually felt about it at the time. This will always be a source of conflict.

I suspect that repression is at the root of these dreams, but I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that these dreams are your brain's effort to reanimate the arousal factor in light of your more recent reinterpretation of the events. In other words, I think the mechanism of repression here is the repression of the arousal.