Is it better to live alone, or live a lie?

If I ever get a job and can afford to live by myself, I plan to cut everyone I know out of my life. It seems so much easier than trying to pretend like I'm happy, or something I'm not. I would be even more miserable if I tried to make friends or have relationships because I would always be lying about what I am.

What do you think? Would you rather live alone and not have to worry about people finding out what you are, or would you rather have relationships and friends but always lying to everyone and pretending to be happy?

There is a third option. I have friends and family who know about my attraction and are fully accepting of me.

ctithe wrote:There is a third option. I have friends and family who know about my attraction and are fully accepting of me.

I'd rather play Russian Roulette. Less likely to get hurt.

I know exactly what you're asking and here's my opinion on the matter. I'm in my mid thirties and have never been married and have had only one relationship that didn't last long. I consider myself a pedophile over my attraction to teen boys. I prefer to be by myself. It's easier in the long run. A person really can't truthfully be who they are with this kind of attraction. So you're correct. You either live a lie or escape from society. For me, however, living alone has made my depression worse. I actually rent a room from my sister and she is hardly ever home. So it's like I live alone, but it's nice to have her around for company once in awhile. Also, I'm very close to my family. Oddly, they've never asked about my sexuality. It's almost like they don't really want to know. (Pedophilia runs in the family). With an orientation such as pedophilia, hebephilia and ephebophilia, a person is automatically rejected from society. It's as easy as that. The less society and people know about my condition the better. My fantasy has always been to move away from civilization and live as a hermit in the mountains somewhere with a cabin by the lake and a dog.

ctithe wrote:There is a third option. I have friends and family who know about my attraction and are fully accepting of me.

There is no such thing as being "fully accepting" of pedophilia. They may be polite to your face, but they are waiting for (and expecting) you to to screw up.

There is a third option. I have friends and family who know about my attraction and are fully accepting of me.

Same here. It is definitely possible

Take the third option and tell people close to you who you are. Society won't change to become more accepting for paraphiles' orientations unless you make an effort to change the views of the few first. Later generations will thank you for not having to have to go through the same thing.

No one's saying it isn't a risk to tell those closest to you, but some of us, myself included, have managed it without it turning into an announcement to all and sundry.

And the support is extremely valuable if you can manage it.

I would never tell anyone about my pedophilia. My grandmother found adult porn on my computer and accused me of being a child molester. She even threatened me. I hate to think what would happen if anyone knew the truth.

322 wrote:There is no such thing as being "fully accepting" of pedophilia. They may be polite to your face, but they are waiting for (and expecting) you to to screw up.

No, they are fully accepting.