My pedophilia makes me feel like I do not deserve happiness

Actually the literature suggests most people who 'suffer' child sexual abuse are unaffected. but this is a big range of acts. child sexual abuse can include a single instance of a grope by an older adolescent/adult (or even said person merely looking in a sexual way) to serial sadistic rape. the latter is more likely to have an impact, but even then...

regarding the 'subtle' after effects you speak of, your logic boasts one major flaw: how do you know those things are due to the child sexual abuse?

the things you speak of are VERY common (and by no means necessarily pathological to boot). yet we have a tendency to attribute any and all 'problems' with development to even the most minor deviant experiences.

322 wrote:

PissyPrincess wrote:But 322, please seek out therapy. You shouldn't have to deal with the temptations of hurting children. If you ever did, you'd hate yourself more, and no child should have to go through abuse like that and endure the painful after effects of it.

FU.C.K YOU. This is exactly the kind of bulls.hit that makes me feel this way. People like you who assume I will rape a child just because I am a pedophile. Go kill yourself, you piece of s.hit.

Okay, I never said that I'd think that you'd rape a child. I just think that people shouldn't have to deal with the shame of their philia and should therefore seek therapy for it? Or maybe therapy for your self esteem? I don't like to see people beating themselves up over nothing.

-- Sun May 04, 2014 1:21 pm --

crystal_richardson_ wrote:

PissyPrincess wrote:If you ever did, you'd hate yourself more, and no child should have to go through abuse like that and endure the painful after effects of it.

Really? Are they so painful?

Save for violent rape, I don't think the so-called after effects are that great. Really.

I think our culture constructs those effects by labelling it wrong, to the extent that there is any impact at all.

Yeah, my sister and I were abused when we were little, and even though I've grown up and gotten over it, it still contributes to some of my PTSD. And my younger sister who's still a teen is still really affected by the whole ordeal.

But this was done by a family member who was lying conniving bastard who felt entitled to everything. And 322 seems like a nice guy beating himself over nothing. I just suggested therapy because I don't want anyone to deal with hating themselves over a philia. He seems like a nice guy and I don't want him beating himself up over nothing.

PissyPrincess wrote:Okay, I never said that I'd think that you'd rape a child. I just think that people shouldn't have to deal with the shame of their philia and should therefore seek therapy for it? Or maybe therapy for your self esteem? I don't like to see people beating themselves up over nothing.

Mod edit

322 wrote:*mod edit*

You first.

Reported. Your kind isn't welcome here. There are plenty of places for you to spew you ignorance.

322 wrote:Reported. Your kind isn't welcome here. There are plenty of places for you to spew you ignorance.

Likewise. Telling anybody to kill themselves is unacceptable.

Mod Edit

crystal_richardson_ wrote:Actually the literature suggests most people who 'suffer' child sexual abuse are unaffected. [...] regarding the 'subtle' after effects you speak of, your logic boasts one major flaw: how do you know those things are due to the child sexual abuse?

Abuse will always be harmful, by definition. We have to be wary of two things, however: 1) if harm does not arise (at the time or in the future), then it can't be abuse (though this does not negate illegality), again by definition; and 2) we cannot simply attribute harm to the sexual act, especially where there was no physical force or coercion or manipulation. The 'abuse' may in fact be inherent in society's response, bombarding some poor child with incessant messages to convince him or her that an experience he or she enjoyed and engaged in willingly was the most heinous thing imaginable until the harm society believes should have been caused is caused. Where that occurs, it is (in my humble opinion) every bit as heinous as cavalier molestors coercing children into situations they know those children will not enjoy.

Reports duly noted and the appropriate mod will deal with it when they get here. I will refrain from locking this thread if everyone can calm down, please.

This forum is meant for constructive feedback. Pedophilla is a senstive issue for everyone, especially those who have these thoughts and feelings. Attacks either way, whether you think they are justified or not, isn't going to help the discussion.

Again I will keep this open if we can stop the direct attacks.

322 wrote:*mod edit*

No, I actually don't. I know people who are/were pedophiles and they don't act out on it. I only personally know one pedophile who acted out, and that's the one who abused me and my sister.

The pedophiles I know who got therapy for it are much happier than the ones who haven't. They live normal lives and have significant others and such. That's why I suggested therapy. Besides, these are forums for people with mental health issues, probably everyone has heard the "therapy" suggestion. So, ~sorry~ if that offended you.

And yes, I did feel bad for you, because you were beating yourself up over nothing. But I honestly don't care if you get therapy anymore, since you called me slurs and told me to kill myself on multiple accounts, but whatever.