Derealization and Necrophilia

When I last had an episode of derealization I was listening to soft music, I was outside, feeling the breeze on my face, looking toward the cemetery. I felt like I wasn't there, like I wasn't in this world, like I was in another realm. Everything looked new, unknown, strange. Derealization is almost like you suddenly get pulled out of the world and walk in some kind of mental fog, without a destination, as if everything is meaningless and distant, as if time and space don't exist.
On that sunny day I felt no pain, I was in another world, in another dimension. I looked around and had no idea what I was doing, what the world was and why I was there. Everything looked surreal and mysterious....

The only certainty I had in that moment, the only thing I could see through the fog was that I want to marry a girl while she's in her coffin, lower her into the ground and love her forever. I always try to imagine my ideal wedding....

That day I felt something extremely powerful, it was one of the most powerful feelings I've experienced so far along with when I walked beside that room in the cemetery and saw a coffin in it.

I feel sort of like that, at times, although I wouldn't go so far as to say I don't know what the world is.

On Sunday, I was sitting in a churchyard, and I drifted into what I can best describe as a different sort of consciousness. The place dated from the 13th century, and I felt detached from time, as though many of the different people who had come through the place down the years were all there at the same time, but we weren't on the right wavelength to see/hear each other.

I realise this is a mental illness forum, not a spiritual one, but I find myself wondering about the alternative states of consciousness that people of various beliefs deliberately induce to facilitate contact with spirits. Could these experiences be a natural mechanism that romantically inclined necrophiles might find themselves slipping into in certain favourable circumstances?

Or could they simply be our minds spinning away into the murky depths of imagination?

I think you all are much more spiritual/suggestible than I am. I don't think I've ever experienced anything quite like that.

Sometimes I do get intense fantasies, I guess, but it's not derealization, I don't think.

My attractions are romantic/emotional, but I know they're just constructions of my brain and neurotransmitters and all that stuff, so I don't attach any spiritual significance to them.

Graveyard76 wrote:Could these experiences be a natural mechanism that romantically inclined necrophiles might find themselves slipping into in certain favourable circumstances?

Or could they simply be our minds spinning away into the murky depths of imagination?

What you experienced is really interesting, Graveyard.
Well, I'm not sure. I kinda experienced those alternate states of consciousness as an attempt to communicate with spirits, but I didn't know I was actually a necrophile back then and not every necrophile has a spiritual belief about the dead. I assume you do, but correct me if I'm wrong.
I don't know whether it's just immagination or not, sometimes it's hard to draw the line.

When I fantasize about having a relationship with a dead girl I find myself thinking about ways I would use to communicate with her spirit. Being a non-exclusive necrophile I find a big difference between imaging a relationship with a dead girl and a relationship with a living girl (unlikely to happen).
So maybe it's not just imagination, it's our own way to express our love and communicate.
Obviously everyone is different and has different beliefs, but I consider my necrophilia to be mostly romantic and spiritual, but the sexual part is pretty strong too.

skeleton-countess wrote:Sometimes I do get intense fantasies, I guess, but it's not derealization, I don't think.

Intense fantasies are very different from derealization. When you get intense fantasies you still feel connected to the world and you probably start those fantasies consciously, more or less.
When derealization occurs, you totally feel disconnected and actually think about nothing in particular, because thoughts just disappear.

When I experienced my most recent derealization I only felt like I wasn't a real body made of flesh, but some kind of very light entity seeing the world for the first time. It sounds like derealization but it wasn't a negative experience. Derealization is usually scary or just makes you feel uncomfortable, it happened to me before so I know it. What I experienced that day was something different, it almost felt like I was stuck in some kind of different realm and I felt extremely connected with the dead on a spiritual level, like someone somewhere in this world was calling me. I almost cried.

My attractions are romantic/emotional, but I know they're just constructions of my brain and neurotransmitters and all that stuff, so I don't attach any spiritual significance to them.

That's a very scientific approach

I guess there are different ways to feel romantic love, kinda like a realistic approach to love and a spiritual approach to love, it just depends on the person's beliefs and experiences.

My attractions are romantic/emotional, but I know they're just constructions of my brain and neurotransmitters and all that stuff, so I don't attach any spiritual significance to them.

I dunno. I find it really to accept that our souls and consciousnesses are entirely neurological chemical reactions. Certain feelings maybe, but when I look into myself, I'm sure there's a lot more to us.

I think, therefore I am.

Then again, the results of necking a bottle of vodka seem to disprove the theory that the mind is spiritual rather than a manifestation of a physical super-computer.

What you experienced is really interesting, Graveyard.
Well, I'm not sure. I kinda experienced those alternate states of consciousness as an attempt to communicate with spirits, but I didn't know I was actually a necrophile back then and not every necrophile has a spiritual belief about the dead. I assume you do, but correct me if I'm wrong.
I don't know whether it's just immagination or not, sometimes it's hard to draw the line.

That's my problem with spiritualism. Imagination is a very wild card. I'll say that I believe death is not the end of a person's soul, but how much of the personality is contained within the physical brain I couldn't say.

What I experienced that day was something different, it almost felt like I was stuck in some kind of different realm and I felt extremely connected with the dead on a spiritual level, like someone somewhere in this world was calling me. I almost cried.

I believe I know this feeling.

It's the hardest thing to explain, but I believe I know it. It feels like a brief connection with a long lost loved one, and then it's gone, and like you I feel like crying.

I often wonder if it's connected to a series of dreams I had when I was a very small child, in which the same girl appeared several times. We'd play together in the woods, and I remember feeling absolutely traumatised that I'd lost her. It could be a past life thing. It could be something I saw on the TV when very young, that made an impression on my subconscious. I just don't know.

Maybe I'll take it to a hypnotist one day, to see if regression can throw some light on it. I'm not sure how much I trust that sort of thing though. Besides the variables that imagination could throw up, I'm very wary of messing about with my mental health.

Graveyard76 wrote:I dunno. I find it really to accept that our souls and consciousnesses are entirely neurological chemical reactions. Certain feelings maybe, but when I look into myself, I'm sure there's a lot more to us.

I agree.

I think, therefore I am.

Cogito, ergo sum. Yeah

That's my problem with spiritualism. Imagination is a very wild card. I'll say that I believe death is not the end of a person's soul, but how much of the personality is contained within the physical brain I couldn't say.

I agree when you say death is not the end of a person's soul, but I don't believe someone's personality remains in their physical body. To me, the soul leaves the body after death and travels to another realm, a superior realm and level of consciousness. The body is nothing but a shell, and when it dies it becomes empty. We're made of energy and when our physical body dies, that energy flies away, as physical death sets the energy free. That's my belief. I suggest researching about Konstantin Korotkov if you're interested in this stuff.

It's the hardest thing to explain, but I believe I know it. It feels like a brief connection with a long lost loved one, and then it's gone, and like you I feel like crying.

That. Except that I felt like I was connected with no one in particular, but it felt like someone out there was calling me. After I thought how much I want to find someone, I got that feeling, I got that feeling of someone saying "here I am, I'm waiting for you", I don't know it was the strangest and most powerful feeling ever. It was like I knew, but at the same time I couldn't know.

I often wonder if it's connected to a series of dreams I had when I was a very small child, in which the same girl appeared several times. We'd play together in the woods, and I remember feeling absolutely traumatised that I'd lost her. It could be a past life thing. It could be something I saw on the TV when very young, that made an impression on my subconscious. I just don't know.

Oh my.
The same thing happened to me when I was a teen. I would always dream of funerals, even funerals of dead children (pedophilia - necrophilia connection? did my subconscious already know?).
One night I dreamed of a dead girl, I believed she was dressed in white and she was in my room. The entire house was dark in my dreams, dark with candles showing a path. I can't remember if she appeared other times though, and it could mean anything. I've always been fascinated by death and my teen years further shaped my views on it so it's no surprise I dreamed about death all the time.

I guess it's hard to find the answers to our questions. These things could mean anything, after all.