Any advice would be appreciated

Hi,

I'm an 18 year old boy who is having trouble figuring out his sexuality. Since I was about 11 or 12 i've been attracted to other buys and assumed I was gay. I had a hard time coming to terms with this as my parents are quite religious and openly state they don't like gays. However, I have recently started coming out to a few friends. What is confusing me now is that I notice as I get older, the age group of the people i'm attracted to doesn't change and I find this quite worrying. I seem to be mainly attracted to the ages of 11-16 with the occasional attraction to someone my own age. I'm not sure what to do. All I want is to be able to have a relationship with someone that I am attracted to and to not be ashamed of it and for it to not be illegal. I'm considering talking to a psychiatrist. If anyone could give me any advice that would be great. Thanks in advance.

Hello
I think that it is good that you are trying to explore your sexuality. Talking to someone in the mental health service might be a good idea. There are reasons why your attraction might be stuck at that age besides pedophillia that have to do with the lack of support you got when you were comming out etc. So it is certainly worth exploring, especially as you say you are still rarely attracted to others your own age.

I had the same issues of gay feelings when I was going through puberty, I only ever experimented with boys never girls due to low self esteem, only a couple of my friends at the time. You should experience what life has to offer you and by that try both gay and straight experiences, then you can decide truly what your sexuality is and what turns you on, you might even find you are Bi.

I felt the same as you, lusted after other boys my age during certain years of my life mainly 12-15 years of age. I assumed because of those feelings and the experimentation that I was gay and only years later when I watched gay porn I did not like it, unless the guy was cute and young looking, that led me into barely legal porn and eventually into CP, it was a really viscous circle that only ended just over a year ago.

Now looking back I feel like I have missed out on so many experiences especially having sex with a female. That is something I want to change in time and find out for sure who I am.

Because you lusted after boys when you were younger is not unusual and happens to a lot of boys or girls during puberty, you are just a horny kid experiencing new feelings that you don't understand. Lots of boys experiment with each other even straight boys, I know my two friends both went on to get married and have children.

I say get some experience of both partners and find out who you are as long as they are of a legal age. Personally I think it is a mindset and you sound very much like me. I won't deny I enjoyed giving oral sex as it was new and exciting but just because you enjoy a sexual activity does not mean that is the only thing you will like or want.

Best of luck in whatever you do, but most of all be sure and comfortable with your sexuality.

Thanks Miamew. I've been wondering the same thing; perhaps because I never really had any realtionships when i was that age I somehow still feel attracted to that age , kinda like I missed out on a part of my life. Thankyou too airwolfman. I do sound similar to your story in quite a few ways, the only thing is i've never really been attracted to a girl of any age so I doubt i'm bi; and the only guys i've ever been attracted to were either straight or too young so i've never been able to experiment. I think I will go to see a psychologist and just see what their advice is. Thanks again.

I'm experiencing the same thing you are!! I'm a 17 year old male, attracted to boys from 6-13ish. But I also am attracted to some boys my age especially if they look young. But I've never been attracted to anyone older than me. I'm still trying to accept it and I haven't told anyone. So I applaud you for at least telling some friends you are gay.
If you would like, there is a small support group on here for people like us who are going through the same struggles we are. We use Trillian, which is for instant message. If you're interested, we would love to add you in.