I am a Paedophile

I am a Paedophile It feels good to be able to open up somewhere about this
I have some ideas about attractions I am also exclusive but more about that later.

What am I attracted to? I feel my attractions are developing and as they develop my preferences becoming younger.

Things I think I have learned about being a paedophile

Shame: Being ashamed of your desires or trying to pretend you don't have them can colour your preferences at least for awhile. As I come more to terms with who I am and what I like but also that I am also a good person the more I realise I like them younger and younger.

Understanding your preferences: Have I always been aware of my desires? No.
First memories of feeling this way? being 11 masturbating in a public toilet on holiday after spending time in the pool with the other kids and imagining having sex with a much younger girl as I did. When my 10 year old friends fancied lara croft tomb raider I liked cardcaptor sakura.
I am aware that I was touchy feel with other kids in the playground. When I was too young to understand sex myself I would still desire to touch the privates of the other kids and kiss the girls.

I was in a committed relationship with a 12 year old girl who looked very young for her age when I was 14 through our 4 year relationship I realised my sexual interest in her dwindled I still thought I was in love with her but when it came to an end I was barely upset the girl I loved was the 12 year old not the girl just turned 17 who probably looked 15.

Upbringing: I was not sexually abused as a child. My parents were morally righteous and instilled me with a sense of conscience. Indeed they don't really drink ever. I am 100% sober and cigarette free so their upbringing of me worked in most aspects.

My relationship relationship with a girl 12 through 17 included her being abusive to me and cheating. my girlfriend when I was 13 cheated on me also. I used to theorise this had something to do with my sexual desires but now I remember liking kids long long before that.

What is the point of this narrative? To fabricate a personal identity which is a made-up story?