Anorexia and pedophilia. Are they linked?

I'm male, BTW.
The reason I fashioned the question in this form is because for me, at least, they seemed to have been linked. Growing up, I came to associate males with oppression and females with victim status. This may have had something to do with subtle indoctrination and the way TV presented males, but I think my father image figured prominently into this perspective. My father was domineering and very controlling. Very much the product of his times, he seemed to view his father role as more patriarchal than paternal. He was verbally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive, towards me and my mother. As a result, I came to view all men through the lens of my father's image. I did not wish to grow up into that, so I began to starve myself, in the hopes that I would never become a man, since I began to view men as inherently evil and ipso facto oppressors of women. I did not wish to become that by default (i.e., by virtue of the fact that I was a man), so I tried to stay a boy. This all began about the time of puberty (for me, 13/14). Before that point, I was on ritalin from the age of 5 to 12. Since ritalin acts as an appetite suppressant, I did not need to worry about starving myself. I was very gaunt and emaciated throughout my childhood because I couldn't find the appetite to eat (which often put me in conflict with my family at the dinner table). But once my mother had taken me off ritalin, I began to gain weight. I also became more aware. I began to observe how abusive my father was towards me and my mother, and began to see that as the accepted male model of my day. So I did to myself by volition what the ritalin did to me by design: I tried to suppress my appetite by sheer force of will. I also experienced bulimia, to a point (self-induced vomiting).
Where the pedophilia comes into all this is this: I found myself attracted to males while I was growing up (specifically, boys: roughly ages 9-14, and sometimes a little older). In conjunction with that, I also began to idealize my childhood in an attempt to "vindicate" male innocence. Even though I was taught that boys were made of "snails and puppy dog tails," while girls were "sugar and spice and everything nice," I still had to admit that boys were, at least, closer to purity and innocence than men obviously were. Since I could not seem to develop an attraction to the opposite sex, I was "stuck" with my "innate" male-oriented attractions. I don't know if my aversion to adult males has anything to do with my male guiilt at seeing men as I saw my dad, but I do consider myself to be gay.
My anorexia, which failed to forestall adulthood indefinitely, seems to have been linked, somehow, in that I came to associate diminutive things with "sweetness," "goodness," and larger things with "evil," "bad." Hence, my obstinate refusal to grow. I was wondering if anyone else, particularly any male, struggled with this same thing; and if anyone else sees a connection between anorexia and pedophilia. After all, children are small, and anorexia is an attempt to get smaller. Your thoughts, anyone?

I can't speak for pedophiles in general; However, it would appear as though your perception of masculinity is the sole reason for your want to sustain a smaller figure. This does not negate a connection between Pedophilia and Anorexia, though.

From what we can gather as well, your sexuality also seems to stem directly from your experiences in youth, rather than from an intrinsically, natural source. Although, there is no real way to judge that with complete certainty; purely through likely-hood.

Personally, I haven't heard of any individuals with Pedophilia that share this commonality you have with anorexia. It would seem that the majority of individuals here with Pedophilia sexualities haven't had the paraphilia derive through events, but simply though natural development.

However, I could see a non-exclusive pedophile becoming more attracted to "softer" features in the gender they are drawn to. For instance, thinner women with smaller busts, or shorter, thinner males. Considering they resemble youth more closely. It would certainly be an interesting study if one was to conduct a survey.

Nevertheless, I would say that it is most likely your upbringing that initiated your inclination towards anorexia and "anti-masculinity." It could also be very possible that your pedophilia attractions derived from those very same events, too. A sort of holding on to innocence within your younger image.

Of course, these are all just the best possible assessments of your situation, and not professional opinion. Just to clarify.

I am eagerly awaiting some responses from Pedophiles who may be able to comment on your situation, though!

Hello!

As a pedophile and an ED sufferer (currently EDNOS but I've run the gamut), I think this is a wonderful question.

In general I don't see a connection, although in your case they MAY be connected. Personally, I never viewed my disorder as a way to remain childlike. I just never saw myself as good at anything, but I sure as hell am good at losing weight! It was sort of my slow suicide plan for awhile.

Everyone is different. There are no real rules to these things.

Ghost147 wrote:Nevertheless, I would say that it is most likely your upbringing that initiated your inclination towards anorexia and "anti-masculinity." It could also be very possible that your pedophilia attractions derived from those very same events, too. A sort of holding on to innocence within your younger image.

Of course, these are all just the best possible assessments of your situation, and not professional opinion. Just to clarify.

I am eagerly awaiting some responses from Pedophiles who may be able to comment on your situation, though!

Thank you, Ghost.
On the surface, it does seem like my male-oriented pedophilia was more the result of nurture than nature. However, geneticists now posit that environment plays a role in "turning on" or "off" genes. For example, one could be genetically susceptible to cancer, but still forego the disease in the case of strong preventive measures. So even if one could argue that my pedophilia had social causes, there is still a case to be made that those social causes simply provided the necessary environment needed to "fan to flame," as it were, those dormant genetic "coals" that pre-determined my orientation. That is why I can't rule out the possiblity that my predilections were inborn, even if I can arguably trace them to social or psychological causes. It may be that, had my inclinations been predisposed towards a different gender, I might have been drawn towards younger females, and found a basis for rejecting my outward gender (becoming transgender, a cross-dresser, or a girl-lover) based on these same ideas I had. That would have been the logical path, since my inclinations would have taken the path of least resistance. That is, in fact, what one lady agrued concerning me: 'If you have such a low opinion of males, why are you so attracted to them?' So my self-loathing and anorexia can only account for so much where my fixated, exclusive pedophilia is concerned. Genetics may explain the rest. I agree with you, however, that it would prove interesting to see how many pedophiles have experienced anorexia and pedophilia, and whether they, too, can make a connection between the two in their experience.

xoPinkerbelleox wrote:Hello!

As a pedophile and an ED sufferer (currently EDNOS but I've run the gamut), I think this is a wonderful question.

In general I don't see a connection, although in your case they MAY be connected. Personally, I never viewed my disorder as a way to remain childlike. I just never saw myself as good at anything, but I sure as hell am good at losing weight! It was sort of my slow suicide plan for awhile.

Everyone is different. There are no real rules to these things.

Hello, xoPinkerbelleox.
I had tentatively had the same "plan," but never followed through. I would urge you not to go through with it.
So, you're a female who experienced both. But you say you can't see any logical connection in your own experience? I noticed that size is a trigger in my own pedophlia: I'm attracted to thinness in boys. You haven't noticed any of that in your case (probably with girls, right?)? What are your attractions, if I may ask?

Another interesting trait I would like to know about pedophilia is within homosexual pedophilia. Media and film portrays a lot of pedophiles who are attracted to boys, exclusively, had some sort of upbringing issue.

To me, it doesn't seem entirely likely that environmental factors are the largest issue, concerning the matter. Especially considering that (not sure if this is accurate), from what I've heard, the gender preference for pedophiles is 2:1, female to male children. Which leads me to believe too that it is genetically predetermined, rather than learned. However, that doesn't really explain-away poor upbringings, where pedophilia is present in the - now adult - abused child, and their gender preference within pedophilia being seemingly influenced by their childhood experience.

Are you aware of any studies that pertain to this matter?

Gerste wrote:

xoPinkerbelleox wrote:Hello!

As a pedophile and an ED sufferer (currently EDNOS but I've run the gamut), I think this is a wonderful question.

In general I don't see a connection, although in your case they MAY be connected. Personally, I never viewed my disorder as a way to remain childlike. I just never saw myself as good at anything, but I sure as hell am good at losing weight! It was sort of my slow suicide plan for awhile.

Everyone is different. There are no real rules to these things.

Hello, xoPinkerbelleox.
I had tentatively had the same "plan," but never followed through. I would urge you not to go through with it.
So, you're a female who experienced both. But you say you can't see any logical connection in your own experience? I noticed that size is a trigger in my own pedophlia: I'm attracted to thinness in boys. You haven't noticed any of that in your case (probably with girls, right?)? What are your attractions, if I may ask?

I'm not going through with it...I sorta scrapped that plan when i realized how many of my friends were dead/institutionalized (FAR too many of them). I'm trying to live the best life I can. I guess I feel like I owe it to them.

My attractions are more personality oriented than looks oriented (though now that you mention it, I don't find even chubbiness attractive in a female of any age. PERIOD). I like brightness, vibrance, innocence, and politeness. The rest is really incidental.

Ghost147 wrote:Another interesting trait I would like to know about pedophilia is within homosexual pedophilia. Media and film portrays a lot of pedophiles who are attracted to boys, exclusively, had some sort of upbringing issue.

To me, it doesn't seem entirely likely that environmental factors are the largest issue, concerning the matter. Especially considering that (not sure if this is accurate), from what I've heard, the gender preference for pedophiles is 2:1, female to male children. Which leads me to believe too that it is genetically predetermined, rather than learned. However, that doesn't really explain-away poor upbringings, where pedophilia is present in the - now adult - abused child, and their gender preference within pedophilia being seemingly influenced by their childhood experience.

Are you aware of any studies that pertain to this matter?

I'm not, personally; and with the overwhelming bias against pedophilia, particularly that of the male/male variety, I don't anticipate such a study being done any time soon. It's interesting that man/boy pedophilia should be the stereotypcal "whipping boy" of popular media, as you point out, when heterosexual pedophilia, particularly that of man/girl variety, seemingly predominates. I would actaully like to do a poll here in one of these later posts to see whether my specific species of pedophilia is in the minority in these forums. I doubt I could extrapolate from my findings any wider ramifications for the population at large, but it might suggest something. So far, I'm not drawing a great many who feel that anorexia figured into their pedophilia.

Also worth noting as that the science is sort of crap when dealing with nonoffending pedophiles.

YouthRightsRadical wrote:Also worth noting as that the science is sort of crap when dealing with nonoffending pedophiles.

Indeed. As is many psychological studies. Fortunately for sciences sake, psychology isn't part of science