Is pedophilia a parental love that has become erotic?

"...John Money also says that pedophilia is caused by a surplus of parental love, that has become erotic, and that it is no disorder. Instead he says that normal heterosexuality is an ideological norm. Such norms are defined by those who have the strongest army and police forces to force their own ideology onto others."

I've always found pretty interesting this idea, and to me at least, it's seems that's exactly like this. I always had very strong parental feelings towards little girls that I liked. I want to play with them, I want to hug them, I want to comfort them, and so on... I mean, things that any normal parental would feel. But for me it's a different, it's beyond this. It's a romantic attachment with the child, a romantic attraction (and sexual too)...

Anyway, I would to know your opinions guys

Basically I would say that to me, there is no such thing as a parental love normal, I think my "parental love it's a surplus by default".

Parental love is innocent ,& loving in all the RIGHT ways ( there is NOTHING sexual about it at ALL) !
There is a want to protect your child, nourish & nurture your child & in NO way do you want ANYTHING more ever ...
When you look at your child - there is nothing sexual there to think of ( even if you see them naked )
Those thoughts DO not go through a 'normal' adults mind about their or anyone's else's child ..
Those feelings / thoughts are just not there !!
There is also NO romantic feelings AT ALL there either, except a pure love for a child & seeing / feeling the joy they bring to you )

And When you look at your child they are not there to gratify in any way they are there to be watched yes ( but not in a creepy way ) but in a caring way of how the develop into a older person
eg- & when you look at your child ( its--> is everything developing ok? ) & NO thoughts of anything else!

A parent will normally protect their child from danger NOT be the source of danger !

An adult has & will develop' normal' feelings for someone else in their life..( be it the same or opposite sex) ...& those feelings will be romantic & sexual
With a pedo they instead have these feelings for a child instead of an adult ...( eg- they can develop these feelings for a child ) this is misplaced as the child should not have to deal with any of the projection of an adult wants & desires placed upon them ( until they are of an appropriate age to understand this ) eg- over the age of atleast 16.

I wouldn't call it parental love ( would just call it misplaced love for a child instead of an adult ) ..
They can't consent to the love impossed upon them bc they are a child ( & are UNABLE to understand fully what is actually really going on around / with & to them )

sleeper^ wrote:I wouldn't call it parental love ( would just call it misplaced love for a child instead of an adult ) ..

How would you know how a pedophile feels? I think that every pedophile would feel differently towards children.

sleeper^ wrote:They can't consent to the love impossed upon them bc they are a child ( & are UNABLE to understand fully what is actually really going on around / with & to them )

Maybe, Maybe not. You use the word "consent" as if love were an action. Love is nothing more than a feeling. also, love doesn't have to be mutual. I can love someone even if they hate my guts.

sleeper^ wrote:A parent will normally protect their child from danger NOT be the source of danger !

Being attracted to someone doesn't make you dangerous. Ever heard of a Situational offender? You don't have to be attracted to a child to molest them.

Dunno who Mr. Money is, but what he believes sounds similar to to work of Dr. Prescott et al. back in the 70s ("Body Pleasure and the Origns of Violence") which states that how society treats their kids is linked to it's aggressiveness towards other countries. Strong countries dominating weaker ones snowball down to how its citizens treat each other like.

I would say though that pedophilic desires are natural in that sex is an expression of joy. If you find yourself feeling joyful and amorous of children, sex is naturally going to be a part of how you'd express that with adults. That we tend to say adult-child sex is objectively wrong simply paints the natural inclincation to express joy physically with sex as something negative. But as seen in other primate species, adult-"minor" animals often engage in sexual behaviours (bonobo chimpanzees et al.) with only positive effect as their entire society then prospers minus violent aggression. Whereas in animals like our own, we're decidely violent and use a more conservative sexual model to define our interactions.

I would say though that pedophilic desires are natural in that sex is an expression of joy. If you find yourself feeling joyful and amorous of children, sex is naturally going to be a part of how you'd express that with adults

But children are not adults. Most sexually abused children are badly emotionally damaged.
Most paedophiles if not all are narcissists, they say the child 'wanted' it. What they really mean is they wanted it (projection) The child is the innocent victim.
And its not natural, not natural at all.

I feel like for myself when I was active with children sexually before I got caught and went to prison that I did have a parental feeling over the children that I was with, I think for me it was more of wanting a so called normal relationship with a child. I wanted to treat them like my equal and to have the romance and the love that grown ups would have together, instead of having that with another adult I had that with a young child.

HowardCL
Do you know why you feel like that, were you ill treated as a child, very strict parents maybe?

um no...I want to have sex with kids and I ######6 hate kids. no parental love here haha.

I don't think so....
Wanting to hug, comfort, etc. are all signs that could be linked to romantic love, so...

Yorkshirelass wrote:HowardCL
Do you know why you feel like that, were you ill treated as a child, very strict parents maybe?

How about: That's just what he likes and how he feels, period? No negative causes involved? You've never thought of that have you? Just like how everyone has different preferences, that's his. Whether it be right or wrong. I also have these feelings for children, but I've NEVER been abused in any way. It's just the way we are built! It's really that simple.