4 yr old acting out

My daughter is 4 years old & in preschool. She has been very defiant for over 6 months now. Whenever she started acting up, it didnt worry me as much because I thought to myself, ok, I need to be more consistent, or try different ways of punishments, talking to her, etc. I told her doctor about what was going on, and she told me it sounded like oppositional defiant disorder. She wanted to refer her to psych for it. I was really sketchy about taking my then 3 year old to a psychologist, so I figured id take things into my own hands and try to do different parenting methods. Now a couple months later, shes gotten even worse than before and its affecting my relationship with myself and her dad. She doesnt understand the concept of authority figures. When she gets in trouble, she has tantrums lasting over an hour. When you try to talk to her she freezes up and doesnt respond at all. Its gotten to be very stressful and what seems an everynight thing. Shes very disrespectful and doednt follow rules. I feel like ive tried every method possible, and its just going in circles. Its hard to imagine that as a parent, I cannot control my own child. I will be setting up an appointment for her to see psych to see what else can be done, your opinions would be greatly appreciated..

I think you're doing the right thing, both in taking her to a psych and in being a little skeptical about that. Hopefully they'll be able to narrow down where her issues lie and give you support in dealing with them. This isn't a very busy forum, unfortunately, but I hope other parents with experience in this will post too over time. Keep us posted with how it's going.

Hello Ada, I'm a mother of a now 12 yr old that is seeking Advice and ways to help my son and figure out things that will work to improve behavior and just like the other person stated it's not a common topic. There's just not alot of information or talk on this topic and I was hoping to get more input from other parents dealing with disorders like my child. To see what works with others children. In your forum when I read it, it sounded exactly like what I started going through when my son was that age. It was almost as if I wrote it describing my son at that age. Now at the age of 12 I'm still trying to find what works for him and seeking out how to help him. He sees Aba Therapist he takes meds and also has a social worker. Also he sees a psychiatrist monthly. I was hoping to find out more about something called decompression therapy and recently have found that odd has similarities to and might be conduct disorder seems to fit my child better I'm trying to look into it but need a full understanding of it. Decompression therapy to have any effect has to be carried out for a yr to be effective I'm trying to find people that have experiences with it to see if it does help or not.

Your story put me right back to when my son was 4-5 years old. He turns 18 in July and we have lived with ODD, ADD, and IED since then. I am shocked at myself for JUST reaching out to find a forum like this. My son is my world. But I’ve struggled with my child for so many years and honestly I feel I’ve given up. I know I say I’ll never give up on him, but I feel defeated and pretty much like an idiot fool mom who can’t even control her own kid. I blame myself every day deep down, although I hear left and right I’ve done the best I could do. Yes, their correct…I have. But that only makes me feel like I’ve got more than a few diagnosis myself. I’m numb these days and it’s torture to attempt to stay strong for my kid. It’s not fair and I’m pissed that this is the life we’ve been dealt. I feel bad that he has me as a mother, he deserves so much more.