Lucinda's Journal

replies welcome.

My reason for starting a journal is mainly to record my dreams.
I believe they are a source of guidance if I could but interpret them correctly. My instincts are clouded by over thinking in daily life and I imagine my dreams try to access the ''reality'' of what is going on.

[b]Recent Dream[/b]

I, and mother and sister ( I think) were feeding a pet fish in the kitchen.
We had him in a 2 metre x 2 metre ceramic bath. He kept jumping out and I was terrified he would die. He was long and a mottled blue colour…( trout like but bigger ); attractive with a cute face.
I Warned my sis and mother not to feed him too much. They wouldn’t listen; kept throwing in more and more food. I told them he would outgrow the bath if they didn’t stop.( It has always fascinated me that some fish , like the japanesse koi carp grow to the size of their surroundings. I think goldfish do too.)
In the next scene I was walking by a country stream. I observed something swimming in it. It was a fish; one that was very similar to the pet fish only this one was a dull brown. Before I could make more comparisons, the pet fish ( the blue one )appeared from under a drain and meandered into the stream. I was amazed he had found his way into the wild. I felt happy he was in a more natural environment, but I worried he would not be able to fend for himself. To my relief he started chompin into insects straight away. effortlessly, like he grew up in that environment. He appeared to be really happy, enthralled by his new surroundings. If he was a dog he would have been wagging his tail
I felt happy for him and relieved at how quickly he adapted.

Perhaps it means that
My family , although they Love me and need me , do not understand MY needs; that I should not feel guilty for being so far away from them , knowing they need me. That I belong in a different environment; one in which I am free and in nature.

Would you accept help with dream interpretations sometime?

Im-pure wrote:Would you accept help with dream interpretations sometime?

Most definitely!

I dreamt about a PF member last night. I remember who it was , but cant remember the content.

I have decided to consider going on nicotine patches...
That will take me on some mighty and exhausting adventures in my sleep.
Will forego giving up on the antid's...just focus on one masochistic act at a time

Exam Dream.
I had one last night. I hate these recurring dreams in which I realize I have done NO study at all and the exams are in a couple of days.
I am with other students in the dream and Our lecturer is giving us tips on what may come up in the exam. I am anxious because I do not understand any of the topics he mentions. I ask others how much study they have been doing and they are well prepared for the exam, which causes me to feel panic. It all seems overwhelming. I wonder how I let it get to this stage, having been so diligent the years before with study and being prepared.
My choice in the dream is to do NO study and wing it or cram and try and get something covered . The second option I feel is futile as it would only serve to uncover how much I do not know, and further increase my anxiety . The option to opt out of the whole course or defer for a year doesn't enter my head.
The only option I feel is open to me is to go in, read the exam questions and just leave.
There is anxiety at the thoughts of others reactions of surprise that I knew nothing and answered the questions incorrectly. To not answer any seems better than to answer them incorrectly.

Interpretation:
Perhaps it is a warning that I am mentally not prepared to deal with the challenges I have in life at the moment? or
Perhaps it is to highlight how easily I feel overwhelmed and trapped when there is no need.
Perhaps I am taking too much on at the moment and need more time to learn.
Or perhaps I need to realise It is okay to just opt out.

I have already typed this out and either lost the post or posted it elsewhere by mistake.

Exam Dream.
Such dreams are recurrent but infrequent.
Last night’s dream like those before entailed being at a lecture getting tips for the forthcoming exams. I realised I had no idea what the lecturer was talking about and that I hadnt opened a book for the entire year. I wondered how I let myself get soo behind. I asked another girl if she had studied much for the exam. She seemed well prepared and confident which added to my feeling of woe.
My options ( in the dream):
_ cram , which I feel will only serve to highlight how little I know…and I have an impossibly short amount of time to do it….
-wing it…bluff my way through which would no doubt be a shocking revelation of how little I know….Instinct told me I could not fake it., not with any amount of luck. True knowledge was required for this exam.
-attend the exam and not answer any question

I felt overwhelmed, anxious and unable to see other options open to me, the obvious one being to defer my study for a year.

Perhaps the dream is telling me:

I am ill prepared for a certain situation on hand at the moment. I need to take time out?
It's okay to opt out and it is preferable to taking on the impossible?

Is the message related to career? or other personal stuff ? I cannot tell.
Is my number up?, in my career. I have no interest in it; am tired of it and can no longer put in the effort required to sustain it.
I only work two days a week but even that is becoming more than I can bear, and the dream may reflect feelings of inadequacy . The loss of interest has led to a loss of knowledge which has led to feeling inadequate.

No solutions have been offered ...in the dream...as usual

It may mean you are feeling overwhelmed and also guilty for not doing enough. A situation - most likely work is giving you serious anxiety...you didnt study the subject which means you were also not interested in it. Yeah, i think this one relates to work...
On another note, my friend dreamed spiders. He told me about it cause i just love spiders. Apparently, i was in the dream too but was not interested in the huge spider.

mmm spiders..
They could symbolise many things in a dream depending on the current situation. eg. he is spinning a web of something...You werent interested in the dream ( but are in real life )..interesting.

and Yes I think the exam dream is a justifiable fear of feeling inadequate around work. I have to get off my a'rse and do some study to build my confidence.....even it it is in a field of knowledge I have no interest in.
Plus I will not get away with ''being me'' ..narky at times if I am not top of my game professionally.

I made some steps today to enroll in a course.... Can't wait ...

I have been having lots of dreams but cannot recall them lately except for two.

One is about my little blind cat. Again it is a recurring theme about reuniting with her.
In this dream she is black in colour instead of grey. I want to gently let her know I am home but I want it to be a special time for both of us not lost in the fuss of surrounding family members. I decide to greet her later, let her acknowledge who I am. An opportunity comes when I see her in a playful mood. I pick up an old game we used to have and start to play with her. I see her hesitate, a little confused, and then realisation dawn on her that it is me who is playing with her and she is happy, soo happy that I am there with her again.

The second dream was some odd, horrible one that isnt even worth recording. There was no sense to it. The era was in the sixties and the setting involved a group of young sexually inquisitive people. The story that emerged was about a guy / girl....embarking on a sexual encounter that quickly turned into anal rape and murder. There was a sense of scandal and disbelief at whatever happened. The crime scenes were a bench in a park and a very colourful toilet
I cant remember if I was a victim or onlooker.
I cant accurately describe how I felt. Perhaps detached or a sense of thinking I should feel a certain way because of the fuss and concern stirred in the general public.

12.4.14

Dreamt I had a skin tag , a small, longish thin one growing from my left upper eye lid. A friend pointed it out. Kept saying ‘from zero to this since October’….insisted I should get it checked out.
The skin tag explained why I couldn’t see properly thru that eye. I had been unaware it was there.
I worried then about finding the right person to do the job …
I contemplated doing it myself.

Obstruction to logical left brain thinking? There is a physiological reason and not just that I am impulsive?

Second dream:
I was sorting thru my old stuff…included underwear, clothes, paintings. Someone was helping me. There was a lot of cleaning out to do as some items were destroyed
( mould, water etc) and in bad repair. The friend seemed willing to help but was not very organised. I felt pleased when any small bit of progress was being made. It seemed to be taking forever….