Is this HOCD or DENIAL?

A little over a month ago i was on a chat room trying to find an older woman to jerk off for. Older women just turned me on cause they were older and had more experience. Now i was disappointed to find that i could not find one that would let me jerk off for her so this man PM'd me and asked if i would so i said sure why not. Now i remember getting on cam with this man and feeling really disgusted whilst jerking off. I turned my cam off halfway threw and thought what the hell was that. I didn't like it from my recollection and since then i haven't been able to get erections at all. I have been struggling for weeks now to find out who i really am. Before this i had been completely straight. I was obsessed with women and liked many different girls at the same time cause it was hard to pick just one. I have been researching this for weeks and I'm so depressed because of it. I'm not happy this way. I wanna go back to the days where i was obsessed with pussy and breasts. I've looked up this thing called HOCD which has to do with being obsessed with the thought that you are gay. I don't know if i have that. I've been doing research for weeks to find out what sexuality i am. I don't think I'm gay since the thought of being with another man sickens and disgusts me. But whenever i look at a guy i get all anxious. I have like an anxiety attack whenever i start to think if this guy is attractive or not. I'm losing my mind. I think i have gone paranoid with the sensation that i might be gay. Is it possible to just one day be perfectly straight and the next be gay? I don't think it is but then again i don't know. I'm so depressed and having the worst anxiety attacks i've had in my whole life. I don't know what to do about this situation. I don't feel like myself anymore. I don't have the desire to do the things i used to do before this whole predicament.

Please speak to a therapist who specialises in ocd about this, as it sounds like ocd and nothing more; you need to talk it through with a therapist. Good luck.