Do I have HOCD please help!!!!!!!!! and how do i fix it??

I've got to say, I feel so sorry for all you guys currently going through this. I suffered from this overactive thought process on and off for years but this is just a distant memory for me now. If I could show you the clarity in my mind, I guarantee all of you would take a sigh of relief.

Permit me to bestow some advice. One of the main things for me were to dumb it down. I kept having to ask myself what difference would it make if I were gay? We live in an accepting culture, my family would be okay with it, okay my girlfriend probably wouldn't but that's life right?  The reason I am saying this is because right now people going through this are too afraid to confront this and ask themselves, "so what if I am?" as it feels like they are resigning themselves to an unfavourable conclusion. However, the reason why you need to go through this is because you are way too in your head about everything. The only way through, is through.

With respect what you are going through right now may seem like the end of the world but it is nothing to worry about from my perspective. I hope I don't offend but from someone who's overcome this I want all who have these thoughts to realise they're just over-analysing to the n-th degree.

Let me ask you this, why do we have sex? To enjoy ourselves right? Personally I have sex with women because I like it and it makes me happy. So why on Earth would I spend the rest of my life pursuing men sexually when the thought brings me such anxiety and unhappiness? It just doesn't make sense. It's like me driving down the road thinking "I'm currently safe going on my side so just to mix it up, I'm going to drive on the opposite side facing opposing traffic." Why would you put yourself in that position where you feel awful and conflicted?

I've been over this in great detail and when I was knee deep in HOCD I'd be looking on forums left, right and centre to find some conclusive evidence. Some reassurance and validation I was straight. It helped me marginally but also incidentally just refuelled my self-doubt. To be blunt, there is no amount of rumination in the world that will eleviate these concerns. I'm not going to tell you what everyone else says "oh you're not gay, its just the HOCD" as it's unhelpful. I will say why care so much if you were? These thoughts arise in all men/women but some people such as yourselves prescribe meaning to them and get stuck on loop. 

On another note, I personally find some men physically attractive but just don't want to engage them on a sexual level so don't feel bad about finding people of the same sex attractive. It just means you admire beauty in different shapes and sizes.

To summarise:

- Stop looking at forums (it doesn't help, even if you think it does)

- Don't try and validate your sexuality - you'd have better luck proving Big Foot's existence)

- Just shrug your shoulders and say Meh, so what if I am?

Next time you have a homo-sexual thought, just go through it. We all have them, just some people add meaning to them. I don't any longer and I can get on with the rest of my life.

I wish you the best of luck!