TERRIBLE NEWS

hello guys i have been doing better for awhile on prozac, but things have gone worse the past days... i have always feared being a bad person or pervert or pedophile.... for a few mnths the fears decreased but i found out that i have an uncle with schizophrenia and an uncle on the other side of the family who is a sex offender... i feel like its in my genes to be bad or ill now... with that in mind i had a recollection that convinced me im in someway screwed up idk why this came to mind and it frightens me into thinking something is wrong with me. Also a memory of me when i was a junior in high school came up when i wrestling a boy in a pool (he was around 12/13) and i remember that we were in a position were i was up against his butt.... and i remember liking the way it felt and i pressed closer.... these really are the main memories of my past that are coming back for some reason idk why

mfs, this sort of worry really does seem to be a big part of ocd, and the fear of that sort of feeling seems to be ongoing, although it does die down a lot with time.

You and the lad in the pool were of similar ages, and honestly, it's human nature to be mildly aroused in that sort of situation - many actors and actresses have admitted to being turned on when filming intimate scenes, because if someone semi naked is pressed against you, you're bound to be aroused, whoever they are.

There was a man on telly a while ago, who found out that he had some 'criminal' genes, and his uncle was a criminal - but the man on telly was not. My grandmother had traits of schizophrenia in old age, but non of her children had it, nor her grandchildren. All I mean is that even if we do carry certain genes, they can lie dormant. All sorts of celebrities have discovered criminal ancestors, and there haven't been a line of criminals descending from them. Your uncle happens to have been a sex offender - it doesn't mean that you might be one. But, because you have ocd, it's something that you worry about, like a lot of other people with ocd.

Please don't be ruled by your fear of your own thoughts - I've been in that situation, and I know how unpleasant it can be, but honestly, it does die down, with medication and therapy. All the best.

i think that you made some good points thats what people keep reminding me is that it is common for people with ocd to worry about it... However the kid was about 12 and i was 16. This makes me think there is something wrong with me.

mfs, the situation with the 12 year old, when you were 16, sounds normal to me. I'd honestly be surprised if many 16 year olds, with rampant hormones, didn't feel the same as you did there. But being ocd, you're hyper-aware of your thoughts and feelings, and (like me), worry endlessly about your motives, and always come to the worst possible conclusion. (Black and white thinking, typical of ocd.)

Don't forget, at one time, in some countries, girls of 12 were married; that still happens in some countries.

Please don't beat yourself up, you sound fine to me. You can't struggle with ocd without help - please speak to a doctor about medication and counselling. Wishing you well.

thanks for the reply i really hope it wasnt a sign of me being perverted and you are right thanks again.