im sick of my thoughts

i feel like i am going crazy...
every morning i wake up i keep evaluating my thoughts to see if they are related to schizophrenia, ocd, bi bi polar...
i get strange awfull thoughts about hurting a member of my family and i am a nervous wreck because of them, i avoid knifes and other sharp objects and lock my bedroom door on a night, in fear of hurting my family im my sleep. these thoughts make me feel like i have some sort of mental illness.
i have frequent panic attacks because of these thoughts, and on some occasions i have convinced my self that i have something.
ill just be going about my daily routine and the name of a mental illness will pop up into my head and it sends my thoughts racing and often leads to a panic attack.

i carnt stop testing myself for mental illness its like an impulse i have when im feeling anxious, and because of this i see a lot of different sympoms and because i am looking at them i get intrusive thoughts of devoloping these symptoms that i have never experienced in my life until now.

my mum passed away when i was 13 and i get intrusive thoughts about her death and it is very distressing.

someone help me please?

Hello Jenky,

Please try not to worry, many of us experience similar thoughts and feelings at some point during life, even those of us who are "successful" have had experience of anxiety. It is totally human to feel like this.

Have you spoken to your Doctor about this? Are you on any medication (prescribed or otherwise)? Do you drink alcohol or caffine? How much sleep are you getting on average?

As you know panic attacks are of a short duration, and will dissipate given time. I have also experienced significant anxiety attacks in my life and have now found ways which work for me to control them. I now focus on controlling my breathing during an attack and repeat over to myself "it is all ok" or "it is just a panic attack, this will go away",or "this will go in a few minutes" no doubt you can find your own mnemonics. I now take regular excercise (a real help and benefit for me) and find things to distract myself. I try to ignore negative thoughts which pop up from time to time and focus on something positve or try to distract myself with a task, such as playing a computer game or sometimes a fairly dull one like doing the washing up .

Your final sentence is very sad and I am sorry to learn of your loss.

I would love so much to help but we just cannot bring them back and don't we just wish we could!!! I am sure your Mum would not want to see you suffer and would wish for you to be happy in her absence. Though grief diminshes with time, the sadness of losing your Mum may always remain with you I am afraid, but also the memory of your Mum will remain also.

How long ago did you lose your Mum? How did your Mum die? What are the thoughts specifically you are getting? How do you feel you are coping with your grief? Is there anyone you can talk to about your Mum as you may find talking about her helps.

Sorry I cannot be of more help, but I hope the above is of some use to you. Do let me know the answers to the questions I asked if you can and I will try and respond as again as soon as I can. Take care, best of luck and I hope to hear from you again!

yeah i have been though the doctors and i have been diagnosed with General anxiety disorder and i have been told i have traits of ocd. they prescribed me with trazadone which is a anti anxiety/ sedative/ anti depressant.
my mum died when i was 13 (6 years ago) she had a brain malformation called an AVM, i have had a really hard time struggling with the greif.


the thoughts are violent ones usually focused on hurting a loved one.


and thanks for the post you said some nice comforting things

I've had the same worry's about being schizophrenic especially, I had a really bad drug overdose and I was psychotic during it and for awhile I worried about becoming schizophrenic, but trust me it will get better but what helped me was talking to a mental professional if at all possible, but just realize, everything will be okay, i've been there and it has gotten better for me

Thoughts like that are normal, every now and then. You only need to be worried if you actually start to act on those thoughts. For example with the knives, have you ever grabbed a knife and pointed it at that person with intent? What would be the purpose of harming this person?

When you get these thoughts you have to force yourself to retrain your mind. Force yourself to say 'I am not going this path' and forcefully get yourself to close your eyes, remember a really good memory of something that you enjoyed or made you smile and concentrate on that. While doing this, do proper breathing techniques. Do this as long as those thoughts try to enter your head.

Do this over & over again. It could take weeks, months or even a year. However if you persist with this then these thoughts and anxieties will have no where to go and eventually be forced out of your head.

I also believe that you have not come to terms with your loss, please look up the sevens signs of grief. It will give you a blueprint of what is really going on and what to expect.