Obsessing over men

I tend to obsess about men. I've been obsessing about two guys lately. One of them I've wanted for over a year. He works with me and we're friends at work. He's nice. He knows I how I feel. We used to flirt. Anyway...a while ago he had a girlfriend. That didn't work out. Now I find out today he has a new girlfriend.

Now I'm really upset. It's not so much the fact that he specificaly rejected me. It's the fact that he, someone I had true feelings for, rejected me. He knew who I was and how I felt and he's rejected me twice. I can't help feeling it's going to be like that forever with every man I ever have feelings for.

I've only had one relationship and that one was a bit of a joke. It was an off and on again relationship that lasted 7 years. He used me, only called me when he wanted me, manipulated me, etc...

I've tried online dating. I haven't met anyone.

I know I should be patient and just relax. I know for certain that I'm blowing all this out of proportion. But that still doesn't comfort me. I just cannot shake the feeling that I am going to be alone forever and I'm never going to experience the true love that most people have experienced at least for some small portion of their lives.

That thought makes me so lonely at night. It just makes me want to sleep all day. I would go out and have sex with a bunch of different men, but I know that wouldn't make me happy either. I'd probably get an STD or get pregnant and that would be devastating.

Thanks for listening...

Hey, acm! Why do you think that you have these feelings? Maybe you felt rejected and not good enough growing up? Maybe you could try to look into it and figure out what is going on, even if you have OCD.
It's going to be ok, you're aware of this tendency you have, which is probably an important step in moving forward.

Thanks, jazmin. I have major self esteem issues. I've had them all my life.

The last two guys that rejected me were not cruel at all. Both of them are still friends of mine on facebook. But rejection still hurts, and it's hard not to blow it out of proportion.

I'm trying to be reasonable about all my issues. That's been helping me recently. For example: I've never thought I was pretty. I felt weird even saying that out loud. But many people have told me I'm pretty. I try to break it down and look at it logically. I'm not deformed, I have straight teeth, I have pretty eyes, I'm not overweight. There is nothing physically wrong with me.

When I do that, I feel a bit better.

I have the same issues too, it's hard for me to feel attractive and I'm sure I will be rejected. I didn't get much love or real attention from my parents, was bullied in school and out of it growing up, about my looks too. It left a mark.
But you're right, looking at it logically helps as well as doing stuff that makes you feel better about yourself. Do you have anything like that, maybe a hobby or even your job?