have i abused? "trigger"

ok so the thing is, im having trouble living with myself because im worried ive raped a child, ive had ocd all my life about it, anyways this specific scenario goes back to me in my house with my mother in the next room with my neice, basically im in the room with my neice to check to see if i remember doing anything like this (ocd) this is where im not 100% sometimes i feel like i know something happened, so because i thought this happened, ive asked my grandma to ask her, if ive ever hurt her, and she said no, her grandma is my grandma, my grandma said if anyone ever shows there willy to you, you tell me and she said i will, id kick them and scream, she said has anyone ever touched you there and she said only my mammy in the bath, she has quizzed her upside down. My mother would have been in the other room, and theres no grooming involved or anything we are all a close family, and the child is really intelligent she would have been nearly 4 at the time, i would have been 17 it is 3 years ago. My Nanna even says she has had her on shoulders and stuff to sort of check shes all there without making it obvious and she said shes perfect. But I still really really think ive done something, what should i do, my nanna would not protect me if ive done it btw, she'd be the first to turn me in as would my Grandad this is tearing my family apart, i cant let it go, sometimes i want to go to the police or her parents.

Im posting this well to see how likely it is ive done something, would she have bled, could that go unnoticed?

i dont masturbate to kids or anything but ive always had these bad thoughts, and im not sure if its some desire.

I think you're letting your fear over control you. You have this fear that you MIGHT rape a child so in your mind you think you might have already done it. So you think back to a time you were alone with a child. All evidence shows you didn't but you refuse to believe it because of how you feel about yourself.
I believe you should see someone about these fears you have and low self esteem. if they're saying you didn't and the girl isn't lying and saying you didn't usually points to you didn't do it.

Hi! If you have OCD, this is just an OCD fear, like Misterchuck said. Yep, you should see a professional about it. You haven't hurt anyone.

As i see it, the only one that your are hurting is yoursef.
Your fear is consuming you while it is irrational and unneeded.
You haven't hurt anyone.