Hello
I have just came across this post when searching on google. It was a very long time ago when you posted this but i think then it is a bigger chance you alredy have some answers/results, et.
We may have some common reason of OCD so i hope you read this and will answer how is your life going.
When i was a child i have suffered OCD for several years. I do not know exactly when the symptoms have started and when the real symptoms gone away but i remember i have suffered for many years. Nobody have known about it only me. since i was very young i could not tell what it is or if i need treatment, i just lived with it.But it was real hell ( when i was about 24 i looked into it deeper because i was curious about my childhoods strange behavior and i found i had OCD for sure-all the symptomps the same, i have a book too and everything fitted me). Then after long years the symptoms had slowly but drastically decreased. I can say the obsessive-compulsive part of the disorder had 100% gone away but some personality characteristics remained with me and are present till today. I was very anxious and stressful all my life and i had mild depression all my life too. When i have to attend training at work, have some kind of exam, try out new things or something challenging is before me i have to confront i get very anxious and stressful (often to the level i feel sensation in my fingers, i get dizzy and my short term memory just shuts down- however i know i am oversensitized by these feeling). At the end everything happens alright, and i almost everytime am sure it will be okay but the anxiety just conquers me. And its very hard to have a full life with such simptoms because even the motivation to feel to want something new into my life is not present,i almost dont feel any motivation against anything. Besides these symptoms, i am very intelligent, provident and everytime looking into details and i even express myself so creative way that almost nobody doesnt understand what i am saying. I am now 30 and i think these traces of OCD are here with me. I never got treated or someting i just live with it because even the motivation to get treated (going from one doctor to the other, visiting therapysts, etc.) is not felt.
When i was maybe 5 years old i have injured my head- my forehead about 4cm above my left eyebrow (measured now when i am 30)- fell ahead and my head hit the corner of the concrete. The doctors had only sew it up without any brain scan or further investigation but even now i can feel the place of the shock on my skull. I have also one sided deafness but nobody knows if it was due to the head injury or i have born such.
So i just wanted to know if you have found any answers for your illness and how is your life going since then. Do you still have the symptoms of OCD or like mine, gone away but the personality traces have left in you everyday life.
Thank you for the answer