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Am I going crazy?

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Am I going crazy?

Postby Janelle » Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:43 pm

Okay so, I have been diagnosed with GAD about 2 years ago when I was a junior in high school and have just started to take my medication Fluoxetine again. But, always wondered if OCD is what I really have.
Ever since I was little, I remember worrying about the most ridiculous things. But I'm not sure they were exactly worries, but instead obsessions? After reading through this OCD forum and hearing about all these fears and obsessions, I realized that I have worried and obsessed over the same things!

I remember I have worried that I was attracted to my brother when I was a little kid and it made me sick. I worried about it obsessively and it gave me much anxiety. But that eventually went away and I never thought about that again.

There has also been several times that I would worry that I was going crazy, developing schizophrenia, developing multi personality disorder because of my intrusive thoughts (which i still worry about), Worried that I was going to become lesbian when i was younger, worried about getting Alzheimers, had a huge fear about dying ( i remember I would constantly worry if I was going to die in some way every day), Worry that I will harm my family and friends or even kill someone, experienced derelization and depersonalization as well. There have also been other bizarre worries as well...

I guess what I want to know is weather I have an OCD problem or anxiety or some sort of hypochondria?
Or am I really just going crazy?
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Re: Am I going crazy?

Postby thecaterpillar » Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:23 pm

It sounds familiar to me and I have been diagnosed with OCD after having been diagnosed with major depressive disorder (which was accurate) and Bipolar Disorder (which was not).

I have expressed my concerns of having all sorts of illnesses and mental disorders to my counselor, but he doesn't seem concerned with that on a level of being a hypochondriac. I would imagine that hypochondria and OCD run closely together, so it can seem to us as though we have hypochondria. I don't feel that I'm ill just because someone else is, but I do constantly worry that I have or will get cancer, diabetes, heart disease, blood clots, stroke, or multiple other mental illnesses. I thought that I was going crazy and that I didn't have OCD at all - that I just made up those things and wish that I have a disorder, even though my feelings are genuine. It's like I can't allow myself to accept that there is something wrong with me, because then I would have a reason other than being a terrible person. Does that make sense? Typically, from what I understand, hypochondriacs primary focus is on physical symptoms and don't typically seek psychiatric help as they truly believe they have a physical condition rather than a psychiatric one.

If you're not in counseling and/or seeing a psychiatrist, I suggest that you begin again. A lot of the time, we have a difficult time sharing our thoughts and obsessions because we feel ashamed and guilty. I know I do. No one knows all of the things I think or obsess over but my counselor. There are some things I can't even bring myself to share with my very understanding and supportive husband for fear that he'll think I'm evil and a danger to our child. It would probably be in your best interest to see someone and share all of your deep dark thoughts, obsessions, feelings, and compulsions. It's helped temporarily lift the weight of the world off my shoulders each week just to say these things out loud, freak out and cry over it, and then move on to the next thing. These things still bother me and make me incredibly anxious and guilty, but it helps just to unload and not keep it all a secret.

Good luck to you.
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