MEMORY HOARDING?/does anyone else have this type of OCD?

I feel like i'm the only person with this type of OCD..no one else with it does anything like this...id much rather have any of the other types.
I basically describe it as memory hoarding. Everything i do is to save/collect memories. I want to record my whole life. So some things i do (which drives me mad and makes me so depressed)- (however, ive got behind on all these things and this is making me so anxious and depressed as i cant catch up as time is continually elapsing)-
obsessional diary keeping, recording every little detail
recording what i wear each day
recording the contents of any bag i take with me when i go anywhere
recording a list of what songs i listen to, in order,which is a pain as i listen to a hell of a lot of music
gone so far as to sometimes write down a conversation ive had with someone
i cant move things in my room - they have to stay where they are - this is causing a big problem as my mum tidies and moves things and i cant bear it, thinking something may be lost - i dont hoard to keep material posessions, but i want a note of them.
i have a facebook - and have to copy and paste all communications into files on my computer
i take obessional photos of myself -so i can see how i look every day, as my appearance is gradually going to change
'collecting people' - i dont want the number to decrease....kinda wanting to 'order' my relationships with people, map it all out
............that's just some of the things i can think off off the top of my head.Can anyone please share their thoughts with me, espec if experience the same things?? Cheers.

I've dealt with...something like that, but not as bad as what you describe. I think it may be rooted in my fear of eventually developing senile amnesia. Do you have dreads like that about your future?

This might help: Imagine yourself as another person reading your biography. I know it sounds hard, but it's easier if you've come to know a variety of different people through personal experience, biography, or fiction (provided the characters are believable). Which parts would draw and hold your interest, and which parts would make you wonder why the author tries your attention with such trivial details?

I think that may possibly be something like the underlying fear/cause/reason why i carry out the things i do....i'm worried i'm going to forget and never get the memory back....when i was explaining it at a mental health appointment the therapist type person kept trying to get to the underlying reason but i just kept saying i didnt know when she asked questions like 'what would be so bad about not writing the things down?' 'what do you fear would happen if you didnt?' gonna be getting a lot more of that at the psychiatrist appointment :/ But becuase ive left it so long and not kept up with my obssessions, i have actually realised now that some of them are pointless and dont do them anymore - i.e. ive just accepted that i do not have time to keep a detailed diary anymore, but i just wish i could keep a calendar but i cant even bear to do that now coz of all the months that have passed and i have no idea what i did/where i went on that day. Its like...when i think..''oh remember that time...'' i want to know the exact date.
I'd love to hear more about your fear, and your advice was very helpful to me :]

EmmaRamone wrote:I think that may possibly be something like the underlying fear/cause/reason why i carry out the things i do....i'm worried i'm going to forget and never get the memory back.

Just a different version of hoarding old documents, right? They're worth little, but the hoarder doesn't want to destroy them because he just might want them back someday.

EmmaRamone wrote:Its like...when i think..''oh remember that time...'' i want to know the exact date.

I say if the event is worthy of its own page in your photo album or of a celebration involving cake, then it's good to know the exact date. Otherwise, why worry about it?

I don't know! But i can't help it/can't stop. It's just like with the more common forms of OCD, people know its silly but they have to do it to relieve the fear of what might happen if they don't. When i think about what other OCD sufferers do, like repeating/counting etc, i think that'd be so much easier to live with, but then again, they'd think the exact same thing about mine. Things that seem to be trivial to one person mean everything to another. Ive been through the whole keeping doing actions again until it feels 'right', and repeating thing until it feels 'right' etc and it didnt cause me any probs with living my life but this is affecting me constantly which is why i need to do something about it. Like ive started not wearing clothes at home coz i can't move the clothes from their piles :S etc.

I suppose that was an insensitive thing for me to say, but I think if you try to focus on what really matters (or should matter) to you—your most precious memories, in this case—it might help to quell your obsession. Obsession is counterfeit love, and the counterfeit loathes the real thing.

i'm worried i'm going to forget and never get the memory back....when i was explaining it at a mental health appointment the therapist type person kept trying to get to the underlying reason but i just kept saying i didnt know when she asked questions like 'what would be so bad about not writing the things down?' 'what do you fear would happen if you didnt?'

What exactly do you fear would happen if you forgot some details such as dates? That you would lose a part of yourself? You know the effect of an event on your life or character won't be reversed simply because you forget the event or forget some details about it, don't you?

... I never heard of this type of OCD before. It could be the fear of forgetting. I will do more research on this. I guess to start off, since you want to keep your materials, did you consider getting a storage for now? I learned that no matter where you are, whether you are in your car or room, there is always anxiety in clutter. Not saying this triggered your OCD for Memory Hoarding, but if you keep things in storage, it will help sort out what you want/need and don't need. You may think you wanted it at the time, but if you look at it again, maybe it's not so bad to part from it. As for diaries, I understand. If you like, type out your diaries, make a book from it, save it in your computer. Files are less clutter and you can save as much as you want. Organize different boxes for what's what, and while you do this, do this a little at a time, and tell yourself that it's okay to move things, it won't mess with your luck, memory, etc... not an expert, need more research on it, but try it and see what happenes.

I do something similar. I have scrap books where i keep every Cinema ticket and receipt or picture or calendar day something happened. Concert tickets everything. Ive Also fallen behind and Its really stressing me out. Ive found out why i do it.
I have a fear of not being able to Tell my children or family or friends about fond memories so Ive Also started Recording in depth what my nieces an Nephews do. Im obviously not able to get ALL the details i want so i feel bad about that as well.
I also store memories mentally and if I feel I handled a situation badly I get these bad ticks with my hand it's SO ANNOYING because recently there are loads of things I'm not doing right.

But as for the hoarding I found that I've come to terms with the fact the I'm behind. I still keep all the tickets but not in order or nicely in the book. I'm not sure what's better. But I'm slightly more calm about it. Though it just seems to go from OCD to hoarding. Hmm.

I hope you find something that works for you. Maybe try making a new rule with the cloths that you have to maybe donate some once a month. Or they have to be able to fin in your cubboard. I have the same pile building up not sure wher e it's going to end. Best thoughts and wishes!
P x

Hi P - welcome of the forum.

Keeping things, memories, etc was HUGE for me. When I was child I would keep the wrapping on my the Christmas gifts I got because I wanted to remember them, and I didn't want to make my mom and dad sad by something that they worked hard to do (they never knew, of course, and wouldn't have minded if I threw the stuff out).

As an adult I would keep all the ticket stub, wine bottled I shared with my girlfriend, everything. Naturally, there were dates to remember, etc.

I still have some of these problems, but I started fighting the obsession five or six years ago when I got a digital camera! One day I decided to get rid of it all, and take pictures of everything. That might seem like trading one obsession for another, but it started to work as therapy to learn how to separate this need to hold on to all these things.

Not surprisingly the change swung my obsession the other way - and I became a purging nut. But my hard drive (and offline back up), holds all those picture and remembrance of a hoarding time.

Otter.

I've seen digital and physical hoarding before. Hmm. Do you have any sort of magical quality about it? Such as if I don't save this, then I will lose essence or my mind?