Should I start OCD behavior again?

I can say that I no longer I have OCD, although I still do a few things that are of OCD, but are important to me like checking toaster, stove tops, wallet, keys, etc... even though I check them a lot of times. I would lose keys by now if I didn't do it. But this OCD behavior is nothing compared to how it used to be when I was a teen. Back then I had OCD, now I don't. I was thinking about starting OCD patterns that I used to do, like re-taking steps-- this happened when I created a pattern of a particular way I would take steps, like skipping squares, or I will create a different pattern if the floor was not tile floor. I got anxious and was superstitious when I was doing this, but not anymore. I broke that behavior a long time ago, even the washing hands a lot and opening and closing doors, touching, grabbing door nobs a certain way, etc... I'm thinking about doing all of that stuff again even though I know I won't be superstitious or anxious this time. I want to see if OCD will develop again if I follow this pattern, behavior, like if I do it for months. Do you think this is possible that OCD will come back? I just want to experiment to see if it's possible to bring OCD back. When I turned 22, I told myself that I will continue to be 22 even when I got older cause it's old age to me and I didn't like that age, now I am 26 and I don't like this age. When I was 24, I really thought I was still 22, only after thinking about it very hard did I realize I was 24 even though it was unclear how true that was.

You want to know what's ironic about this? I believe that it's your OCD that is making you worried about your OCD coming back. I'm not trying to joke - I'm serious. At times, OCD can be positive in a person's life, if managed correctly. Whilst I would certainly not encourage anyone to permit themselves to 'be' OCD, if it happens, then so-be-it. I managed to use my OCD to obtain two awards at university and break records in the process. I did this by focussing my OCD onto my studies.

Let me know what you think.

Kevin

Chucky wrote:You want to know what's ironic about this? I believe that it's your OCD that is making you worried about your OCD coming back. I'm not trying to joke - I'm serious. At times, OCD can be positive in a person's life, if managed correctly. Whilst I would certainly not encourage anyone to permit themselves to 'be' OCD, if it happens, then so-be-it. I managed to use my OCD to obtain two awards at university and break records in the process. I did this by focussing my OCD onto my studies.

Let me know what you think.

Kevin

I'm not even worried, I want to experiment. This is going to sound kinda weird but I kinda miss it. I miss being 16, now I'm 26. I want to bring back a behavior--- that is only temporarily--- so I will experience how I felt at that age. I had severe OCD back then (self diagnosed), now I don't have enough to be diagnosed with this disorder. Why this particular behavior and not something else? Cause this was a major part of my life back then and defined me, other than social anxiety which I still have.

How much do I hate this age? When I turned 22, I told myself many times in my head, convinced myself that I would remain that age even if I got older. Then at age 23 and 24, I actually thought I was 22. I really did. Until I thought very hard, sometimes without an answer, and I would finally tell myself that I'm really 24. I couldn't even remember my real age! Imagine that.

It's pretty interesting that you want to bring back your OCD, as an experiment. Was it debilitating, or just a part of your life? I know that I used to have worse Tourette's than I do now, but that it's probably because it's been pushed out by general anxiety. I'd trade my anxiety for Tourette's in a heartbeat, but it's not because I miss the Tourette's - I miss that whole part of my life, and how much easier it was.

The age thing I totally get. There are some years that stick in my mind as significant, and others that don't. I'm 20 now, and I remember that. When I was 19, the number that came to mind would be 18, and 17 felt more like 16, and then the years before that felt like 13, etc. Who knows what was up with that, or if it signifies anything at all