OCPD - Sufferers & Suggestions

Hello,
My name is Elliot, I'm an 18 year old male, and new to this forum. I have a very long winded story I feel is necassary to tell surrounding OCD / OCPD, and how I belive this illness has effected my life over the last 4+ Years.

I have had traditionl OCD compulsions from roughly the age of 9/10, but they seemed to come in short concentrated 'waves' that seemd to last several months at a time. At the time I couldn't see why this was, but seemingly after recent research, it seems a hightend amount of stress is likely to be the root cause for those who already suffer. Anyway... I always tried to cover up these compultions around family & friends etc, and it seemed to work. However, since starting sixth form collage at 16, the OCD compultions have been consistantly present, and as a result significantly effected my day to day life, in regards to speed of task completion, exhaustion after small tasks due to the precision and mental battle involved, and also having to constantly cover up the compultions to prevent them from looking strage around friends / family etc. My computions, after reading many stories of fellow sufferers seem common, i.e. (Anxiety of problems regarding family, friends, posetions, future / worst case scenarios regarding just about anything.) No matter how insignificant it may (and usually is) to normal people my mind seems to have an overwhelming ability to create a worst case senario intrusive thought that seems to become more prominant and vivid untill I do the nessasary comultion.

Up to now this seems like a typical OCD sufferer?

Even with a highly suspected Knowledge that I did have a 'disorder', I told myslef all though this period that it would "wear off", or "Its just a habit", as although it was extreamly exhausting and incredibly time consuming, I felt like I could live with it.
However, during summer this year (2010), and having completed my A-Levels, I needed to choose a University. This decision is for most, a very big one, possibily the biggest at that particular point in the persons life especially at 18. However, I could not after months and months of in depth analysis on seeingly every aspect of two universities make a decision. I would do anything to think straight (Go for long walks, have cold shows, sleep, visited each university many times, asked for peoples advice, made painstaking lists) but all to no ovail.

Eventually after a large family argument regarding my indecision, I "When with my gut instinct". But from the moment I arrived, I knew or atleast thought I knew I had made the wrong decison, and within two weeks had rang the another uni to investigate the possibility of a place through clearing. Fortunatly I was offered a place, and also managed to find accomodation.
However, the very same scenario that occured earlier in the year came to the fore "Should I stay or should I go". I would be up all night and day, not attending lectures, not eating much or socialising thinking of every possible likely outcome of the decision to the point where I would have massive panic / Anxiety attacks untill I felt paralyzed and numb, wake up sweating etc. This combined with the familiy wanting to be constantly updated on what I was doing (Whilst not having any clue at this stage I had any sort of suspected mental illness).
The offer from the university I got through clearing was eventually withdrawn due to not responding in time (5 weeks) and the stress and subsequent depresion it has since caused me and the rest of the family has caused me to pull out of university all together. However, since arriving home and after the dust settled on the wholse situation, I have tried to find what might have been causing the huge indecision, and came across OCPD.
Having done lots of revision surrounding this illness, I have been suffering ALL of these symptoms subconciously for many years i.e. Perfectionist, Rigid personality, inflexability, obession to times lists, organisation, and sub-organision, inability to delegate tasks due to fear of people not meeting expectations, Idealised visions of life in general, pessimistic approach to everything, Morally rigid and narrow. However, the crucial thing is, I only realised that this sort of behaviour wasn't 'Normal' upon finding OCPD Symptoms, After reading it, it felt scarily true to my peronality, except for one thing, that is the reaity of its combination with its sister illness OCD. Could I suffer from both?, and if so, is it uncommon?

P.S Since becoming aware of this. My OCD Compultions, and rigidity (Now recognisable), have seemingly disappeared. My question is, Is Awareness the first, and possibly last stage of recovery from this illness?


I thoroughly appreciate any response to this, and hope it helps others!

Elliot!

Co-morbidity is not uncommon - I think 30%. As you mentioned, the two are related, though many websites state otherwise.

Awareness is not the first nor the last stage. There is no "cure" or "recovery". There can be effective management of the disorders. It's good you realize you may have OCD/OCPD at your age. The stress of University, marriage, children, finances, career will all push your Anxieties to dysfunctional levels later in life. Most OC-traited people develop unhealthy coping mechanisms to maintain a feeling of control. Healthy management typically involves therapy (especially CBT) to recognize/correct distorted thinking, anti-anxiety meds (e.g., Lexapro), proper diet (extra carbs), plenty of sleep, routine exercise, meditation/spirituality, relaxing hobbies, non-enabling friends, and strongly positive and understanding/supportive family.

Check out this very active website ocpd.freeforums.org. It has a separate (private) board for sufferers who can relate to one another.