POCD...struggling, please help :(

I posted before, explaing how i have the fear of being a paedophile. i have got it under control until recently.
There is one episode i cant let go and its terrifying me. Basically my baby brother was lying on me when we were watching tv a while ago. I was already a bit aroused from talking to my boyfriend, and moved my hips very slightly up and down cuz it was uncomfortable. Then I had a quick, random intrusive thought urging me to do it again while aroused against my brother and in seconds i'd quickly done it again, 'forcing' myself to 'enjoy' it. I have tried to let these fears go but they keep coming back to haunt me. I feel as though i acted on an OCD urge and did something sexual with my little brother, especially seeing as I was already a bit turned on, so it feels like there was a sexual intention. Please help me with this I feel awful.
Thanks

Hey,

Sorry to hear about this, but perhaps focussing on this as a pure OCD issue would be more helpful than regarding it as something paedophilic in nature. Intrusive OCD thoughts can manifest themselves as virtually anything, but ones that have been written about much are thuoghts of harming others (even murdering) and sexual thoughts. So, what do you think? I have OCD diagnosed, by the way.

Sorry to hear also that this is a 'relapse', in your case. Do'nt feel too bad. THese things happen but your not a horrible person.

Kevin

Hello elfie24,

I struggle with similar thoughts. They are awful and embarrassing.

An example. I have tic symptoms: I often get this "urge" to twist my limbs, stretch my back or change my posture, etc. Once I was holding my niece in my lap and I felt a bit uncomfortable for some reason, so I tried to correct my position somehow. It's hard to describe, but I had a "tic-like" feeling in my lower body, including my crotch, so I had to move my lower body a bit. It was a bit similar as the situation you described. Yeah, I also started thinking, "Was I doing something sexual?! Did I do it on purpose? Was I enjoying it?" These thoughts make me feel awful too, and I don't know what to do about them... I just started therapy and I hope I have enough courage to talk about these thoughts as well.

Anyway, the situation you described doesn't sound bad at all, so you don't have to feel bad. It's just OCD that makes you question every single thought you have. And I don't know if this helps at all, but at least you're not the only one struggling with this problem! Hugs!

Hi I also have the pocd the worst of all the obsessions,I wish I could have the obsession worrying if im gay or that im going to kill somebody,or washing my hands than having the pedophilia obsessions

I have gay AND pedophilia obsessions. At times even animals....wow.

-- Thu Jun 23, 2011 11:48 am --

And I always think I'm a dick!