Hi, i'm new and SERIOUSLY struggling with my OCD...

This has the potential to get even more confusing, but i'll try to straighten things out. The adverts/portals/pop-ups which suddenly appeared on the screen were DEFINITELY advertising illegal material. I didn't click on anything and closed the window, but the images (which i think provided links to proper illegal sites) were definitely not of 18+ girls. The original link which i'd clicked on had been indicating legal material, but appeared to be intercepted by a series of blind links. As i say, i'm not very experienced in the area so i don't know really what i was meant to do (are you meant to report such sites to someone?). My therapist said that he'd had a patient before who'd become similarly concerned that he'd unintentionally done something illegal and would be arrested (ended up throwing out his computer on account of the endless worrying!).

Sorry for being vague.

GrayD.

GrayD,

The best thing that you can do is to just stay away from these websites and don't even bother reporting them. I still feel, by the way, that they aren't advertising illegal material. I am basing this on personal experience: When I was younger (and when I looked at porn a lot) I saw similar adverts, but the people in them are just made to look younger than they are. So, anyway, just stay away from them as much as you can. One thing's for sure: If you were running illegal services, would you advertise your content openly on the Internet? I doubt it... ...

Oh i can definitely manage without going on these sites, don't worry. To be honest, it's not worth risking something like that happening again. The problem is that since then, my mind's been going back in time trying to figure out whether something similar could have happened in the past and convincing itself that i've done something awful and will be arrested. To quote my therapist, "classic OCD".

Also, i think you're definitely right about the adrenaline - whenever i get these intrusive thoughts or feelings my heart starts going haywire and my stomach starts feeling really unpleasant, on a couple of occassions feeling like i was gonna pass out.

GrayD, that ain't good to hear about nearly passing-out. Would you ever consider doing light exercise? This could really help to alleviate this specific problem. Having adrenaline in your blood all of the time is not good at all. I should know, because I'm stressed everyday of my life and stress is caused by adrenaline (or vice-versa).

Doing exercise makes your heart muscle stronger and it gives you a feeling of vitality. Over time, it also increases the diameter of your arteries, meaning that blood flows through them much easier. So, exercise eventually combats stress too.

Kevin

Hi again Chucky,

I do get a fair amount of exercise (a decent-length walk every day and jogging on a Saturday morning) but i'm sure a little more wouldn't hurt. I eat pretty healthily too. I think the whole dizziness/feeling-like-i'm-about-to-pass-out thing is very much connected to the fear of vomiting thing from which my whole OCD experience originated. But yeah, as that element is fading and this new 'chapter' of the illness is beginning, maybe i could use a slightly stricter fitness regimen to keep my strength up. It's sometimes a struggle to get the old motivation going though.

If it makes you feel any better, my psychiatrist told me intrusive thoughts can definitely be unwanted and sexual.

so you're not a pedophile, your mind is just bombarding you with these unwanted sexual thoughts. I have OCD and it's happened to me too, before.. just unwanted sexual thoughts in general.

Its difficult when you think it's you, but that's not who you are, its just the OCD talking.

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