Is this OCD?

I am not quite sure what is wrong with me, but I think that I may have OCD (I'm pretty sure that I have SAD too). I have contemplated seeking some help, but I've been too embarrassed to do so (mainly because I'd have to discuss it with my parents...I'm 20, and still on their insurance). I don't really think that they have any idea about these issues, and I feel like my parents might think I'm weird.

Basically, I have a habit of doing things until they "feel right." For example, when I leave my bedroom in the morning, I always close my door. I'll end up pulling the knob and counting 6-7-8-9-10. I'll repeat this until I am okay with how the door is closed. My sister actually saw me do this one morning (I didn't know she was upstairs) and said "Do you have ocd or something?" I also tend to do this with other knobs and switches around the house. Even if I'm running late, I feel like I have to do it. The underlying reason as to why I do these things is because I have this feeling that if I don't do these actions "correctly," one of my friends will no longer like me, or something bad will happen. I know that this is ridiculous.

I also tend to have a problem with preciseness/evenness. I don't even like to use my debit/credit cards anymore, because when I take them out of my wallet, I get nervous about them not being aligned correctly. One day, I literally readjusted them 10 times, until I was satisfied with how they were arranged. It's similar with my car keys...I have to have them positioned in a certain way, and it gets me really anxious if I see that someone moved them. I'll be paranoid that the keys may have gotten scratched or damaged from a family member touching them. I tend to also notice a problem if I'm mailing something. I'll literally take it out of the envelope 20 times, even though I know I dated/signed the check correctly, etc etc.

Another problem I have is with clothes. I don't know if this is OCD related or not. I don't like to wear any of my nice outfits, even to school (even though I do like to look nice). I have this weird thing about my clothes getting messed up. I feel like if I wash one of my nice outfits, it will lose some color and won't look as nice. I'm even paranoid about washing my jeans, because I'm afraid they'll become dingy. I have all of these nice clothes from good stores, but I don't even wear half of them.

I appreciate any insight!

Hi, chris87! I remember doing similar stuff a few years ago, with my pens, pencils or notebooks sometimes. They had to be perfectly aligned. I was stressed and it has pretty much stoped now. Are you going through a lot of stress?

Hi Jasmin,

I am stressed, but I think my stress is the result of SAD (I'm not officially diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I have some form of it).

The reason I feel that I have OCD is because it's not just the alignment of objects. I won't even wear any of my good clothes, because I'm afraid they'll lose their newness. I have a bunch of nice outfits that probably will never leave my closet, mainly because I don't want them to get dirty.

I don't really know why I'm so messed up. I know my issues are ridiculous, but for some reason, I can't help it.

chris,

I know my issues are ridiculous, but for some reason, I can't help it.

No issue is ridiculous if it troubles you. I find that my OCD rises with the level of my stress. I have a long history of depression, but OCD is something that is a recent problem for me.

Have you talked with your general physician about these symptoms?

Sometimes an anti-depressant can help with OCD as well as SAD. Whether it is that or some other treatment option, I hope that you will find a way to control those things which are causing you distress.

Best,

I haven't talked to my General Physician...I guess that would still be my pediatrician. I haven't gone to the doctor since my Junior year of high school, and I'm now a Junior in college. I think I can go there until I graduate, but I'm not positive. I was thinking about just going to a psychiatrist or a pyschologist, but I don't really know what to do.

I actually just thought of another problem that I have, although I don't know if it's related to OCD. I was thinking about going to whole foods to buy some things that I like, but I had second thoughts (mainly because of the bags). I have this weird issue with my car. I don't like to put anything in it (including the trunk), because I'm paranoid that the leather will get messed up, or that my car won't look as new. I'm even paranoid that a passenger will wear out the leather on the car seat. It's so ridiculous (I know), but it causes me grief.

Chris,

Again, it is not ridiculous. Often OCD stems from a need to be "in control."

Arranging things in a specific order, repeating actions over and over, being preoccupied with germs are all things that we can control even when many other things in our lives have been moved beyond our control.

Going to a counselor or psychiatrist is also an excellent idea. I always hate to suggest that as the first step because many people have negative feelings toward mental health professionals.

If that is an option for you, I suggest that you go in for a visit. Generally after the first session the therapist will tell you whether they feel more visits would be beneficial.

Good luck,