My OCD story with unwanted arousal

I remember watching porn, I watched the same porn videos for two or three days so I didn't wanted to finnish to same videos again so I was looking for other with a acctress that I watched in these videos before while being aroused. But I stambled across a video with her that triggered my Hocd, I felt groinal response and I started to check if I'm not aroused, because I mistook groinal response for arousal and I wanted to get rid of this feeling and I had anxiety that I also mistook for arousal, so while doing this checking and making sure that I don't feel this groinal response any more a scene in this photoslide of a video switched into a very disgusting scene that triggered my anxiety and Hocd really bad and I didn't want to be aroused by this and suddenly I felt I was about to ejaculate so I quickly turned off this photoslide and I was fighting not to ejaculate with high anxiety but intrusive thoughts started to invade my head and I could not stop myself from ejaculating and I felt it and I was in so much panic that I thought I was going to jump from the window After this happened, but I went back to check to make sure that this could not aroused me but what happened I still felt anxiety that I mistook for arousal and told myself this must be this false arousal in ocd because there is no way I'm into this Staff.


Then After reasearching for 8 months I finally found the answer why did this happen. The more we try to focus on groinal response the stronger it becomes and when we Look at things that We REALLY don't want to be aroused, we can trigger unwanted arousal. It is very common among People with sexual ocd some, People even test them selfs with masturbation and somehow they are aroused and manage to climax and they are wondering why the hell this happened so fast.

I'm writing this because I have read a lot of People struggle with this and I would love to help them. If you are one of these People reply to my topic and I can provide you with many useful links