I am struggling! Please help! Intrusive thought?! (OCD)

Hi everyone. I’m new to this forum. At the moment I’m struggling a lot and I wanted to come here to maybe get some support because I can’t see a professional right now due to the current situation going on in the world. Anyway, this is going to be very weird and maybe triggering to some so I’m just warning everyone now. I suffer from pretty bad intrusive thoughts, but I’m used to It and it doesn’t really bother me. However today I think I got a thought (or something) but I’m not 100% sure because I’m very tired and can’t remember anything at the moment because I pulled an all nighter. Anyway, I think I had a bad sexual thought about a family member. I got a bad groinal response from it to the point of where I got the urge to masturbate. Again I say I’m not too sure if I did have a thought or not but I keep trying to remember what it was that aroused me because I’m very concerned at the moment. Anyway, I tried to let the thought pass but the horrible feeling/urge was still there and so after maybe 20 minutes or so I did it, I masturbated. But I didn’t do it when thinking any thoughts but now I feel nervous because it may have been the thought about a family member that caused all this and I got aroused by it which is so horrible. And what’s worse is that I don’t feel guilty which makes it scarier. I’m like 97% sure it was a thought, I don’t remember. I’m so scared because I got aroused by a horrible thought and I caved. I don’t know what to do, I can’t stop obsessing over it. I have really bad OCD which doesn’t help. I don’t know what to do. Am I a bad person? I am aren’t I? Has this happened to anyone else before or am I just crazy?

When hugging a family member a got these really bad sexual intrusive thoughts and then I had this feeling that I was hugging them for a inappropriate reason and it really felt like that and know I feel guilty. Like it felt like I wasn’t hugging them like an family member I don’t know how to explain it. It made me feel like I was being inappropriate and I was doing something inappropriate and now I feel weird and gross.