Anyone that care to read thannk you!!

So ive been going through what i think is HOCD (i match up with all the Symptoms). All my life ive looked at myself without a doubt being STRAIGHT, now i dont know if society has gotten into my mind at a young age and that ive programmed my mind subconsciously without eve knowing but i now damn well that i was so happy and always wanted a wife and kids one day. Im a 16 year old male and im worrying that puberty is showing me some hidden/secret self, Could this be the case??, The thing i dont get is why i get these wierd feelings without a lot of anxiety, like yesterday i intentionaly thought of a women in bed with me and i got happy and a warm feeling and ofcourse then i got the thought of a man, I didnt get that much anxiety from i but i worried and it sucks. I also dont know if im bi (i dont want people commenting "its ok to be bi" or "Being bi gives you two options" no no no no I DONT want 2 options i only want to be attracted to girls) No i know you can want stuff but you dont always get what you want and man does this scare me (wanting to be straight but im not). I dont know if im insanly deep in the closet or so scared to come out that i dont realize it or something like that. Its really sad because before i was so comefortable in my skin and didnt worry about anyttttttthing of my sexuaality and knew i was straight, Now, not so much anymore. Ive fapped like crazy since i was 10 and maybe porn and fapping is then problem or maybe not, really hope it is. Ive lost the drive to be with women and what sucks is that i dont really care, and this destroys me. I feel kinda numb and its making me think im bi,
I dont know if ill ever go back to my self where i loved myself and didnt worry about this or that im bi and deep in the closet and dont know. I dont know if ive been subconsciously been bi my whole life wihtout a clue or if its all thsi $#%^ is HOCD.
Thank you whoever reads this reallllllllly appreciate you.