I'm obsessed with a fictional character. I feel helpless

I need to get this off my chest. I'm completely obsessed with a fictional character from FFXIV (Emet Selch), a game I love and play all the time. My attraction towards him has gone beyond what is anywhere normal and seems to have transcended just him and became a concept itself. Like anyone like him I would feel a certain feeling about as they would be similar, or a similar concept like personalities similar to his. This obsession started maybe 4 or 5 days ago. And I never would have anticipated it. I have had an obsession like this before, for Carol Denning from OITNB. I'm tired of being like this. I don't know what to do. I feel guilty because I'm in a relationship. I don't want to be having these obsessions. I go on Reddit, Nd the first post I see is a cosplay of the character. I feel powerless. I feel like I have no control. I talked to my therapist about it and she said to get it out so it doesn't have more power over me like to journal about it. Can anyone help or relate

Hello and welcome!

I think if you search this forum for the key word, 'fictional' you will find you haven't been alone in being infatuated with fictional or imaginary characters. Sometimes they capture the imagination, don't they?

Snaga wrote:Hello and welcome!

I think if you search this forum for the key word, 'fictional' you will find you haven't been alone in being infatuated with fictional or imaginary characters. Sometimes they capture the imagination, don't they?

Yes. But it's gone too far with me, because it's become an obsession.

Which is what others have on occasion posted.

Other than being obsessive, I mean... this isn't a character played by an actor. This isn't like, 'stalky' or anything. I suppose the thing you have to ask, who is this harming?

Unless you spend an inordinate amount of time over it- that you would not otherwise be spending on the game itself or something, is it really harmful? You're in a relationship, but other than your conscience (which is a laudable thing, mind you, and I don't mean to trivialise it), is it actually impacting them? Are you devoting more time to your fiction, than your real, that they actually would have a basis to feel put out?

If not... then I personally tend to take a relaxed view of these things. I have in the past found myself very infatuated with real people, people I might even see momentarily in a television commercial, or been captivated by a fictional figure. I think I tend to have BPD traits in addition to my OCD. While it happens less these days (age, perhaps, or worsening depression, maybe), I decided a long time ago not to let it bother me too much and enjoy the feeling. In my case I knew it wouldn't last, anyway. You even speak of having had one like this before- presumably it passed?

And it's been a week. Does that even really mean anything? Months, years, sure. But several days? I'm afraid, looking in from the outside, that this doesn't seem as serious as the weight you put on it. OCD tends to make everything so huge in our minds. Mountains out of molehills- we all on this forum are guilty of that in some fashion or another.

While I'm not sure that obsessing over people (real or otherwise) is exactly an OCD kind of thing (it could point to a PD, for example) I do think our OCD flavors everything we do- it really just kind of supercharges a lot of issues, it feels to me. If we're going to obsess over someone, well, OCD will have us obsessing over the obsessing...

Snaga wrote:Which is what others have on occasion posted.

Other than being obsessive, I mean... this isn't a character played by an actor. This isn't like, 'stalky' or anything. I suppose the thing you have to ask, who is this harming?

Unless you spend an inordinate amount of time over it- that you would not otherwise be spending on the game itself or something, is it really harmful? You're in a relationship, but other than your conscience (which is a laudable thing, mind you, and I don't mean to trivialise it), is it actually impacting them? Are you devoting more time to your fiction, than your real, that they actually would have a basis to feel put out?

If not... then I personally tend to take a relaxed view of these things. I have in the past found myself very infatuated with real people, people I might even see momentarily in a television commercial, or been captivated by a fictional figure. I think I tend to have BPD traits in addition to my OCD. While it happens less these days (age, perhaps, or worsening depression, maybe), I decided a long time ago not to let it bother me too much and enjoy the feeling. In my case I knew it wouldn't last, anyway. You even speak of having had one like this before- presumably it passed?

And it's been a week. Does that even really mean anything? Months, years, sure. But several days? I'm afraid, looking in from the outside, that this doesn't seem as serious as the weight you put on it. OCD tends to make everything so huge in our minds. Mountains out of molehills- we all on this forum are guilty of that in some fashion or another.

While I'm not sure that obsessing over people (real or otherwise) is exactly an OCD kind of thing (it could point to a PD, for example) I do think our OCD flavors everything we do- it really just kind of supercharges a lot of issues, it feels to me. If we're going to obsess over someone, well, OCD will have us obsessing over the obsessing...

My boyfriend doesn't want me to obsess and gets upset when I do...hence my guilt. Is it still alright to in your book? Would I be immoral? When I'm able to do this the obsession goes away sooner.

I don't know. I don't see how if I were him, I could be truly angered by it. The obsessing might be disturbing for its own sake, but honestly what are you going to do, run off with a pretend character? I mean... *shrugs*