Is this TOCD or am I actually trans?

Hi, my name is Angelina and I’m a 17 year old girl who think I’m going insane. I’m not properly diagnosed with OCD but I’ve a long history of anxiety and have struggled with violent intrusive thoughts in the past (about killing or hurting my own family) and I grew up with thoughts of “if you hurt yourself for 45 seconds, your mom won’t die” and I’d do it longer than 45 seconds to “make sure”. I’ve been anxiety free for some time and it’s been lovely, but I’m seriously horrified and scared I might actually be trans. It started 2 days ago, when I realized I was dressed kind of masculine, and I suddenly got this thought “what if I’m actually a guy trapped in a woman’s body”. It’s the one and only thing I’ve been able to think about. I go to the bathroom to check out my body and make sure I still feel the same way about them, I try to touch them to make sure, I watch HOCD/Denial videos and post on forums to reassure and it works for a couple of minutes but then I’m back at it again. I feel the anxiety I’m feeling is actually gender dysphoria because I saw this trans person say “I feel weird about my boobs” and I started obsessing over cutting them off with a sharp knife. Serious problems (like me potentially losing my job) fade into the shadow because this is the only thing I worry about. I KNOW deep down I’m a girl and I’m fine being one, but I still worry I’m just lying to myself and that I’m secretly a guy in a woman’s body. I’m also gay, and whenever I find myself checking out girls there’s like a dark voice in my head: “it’s cause you’re secretly a guy, you’re not a girl, stop LYING to yourself”. I take quizzes which all say I don’t have gender dysphoria but I still worry I’m just lying to myself or that I “answered wrong”. I’ve never felt like this before, I used to have short hair and I was tomboyish as a child and people sometimes mistook me for a boy and I used to HATE it so much, I wanted nothing more than to look like the girly girls in my class. I feel a kinship to other women, I’ve always loved makeup and if I imagine myself 5 years into the future I see myself as a woman, but I’m terrified the reason I like girls is because I’m secretly a guy but I KNOW logically I’m not. I KNOW deep down I wouldn’t want to be perceived as one, it would be wrong, cause I’m a girl, but I still can’t stop obsessing. I don’t know what this is.

Hello and welcome! Well to be blunt.. it seems you know what this is, and it does seem like seeking more reassurance. I'm someone who may or may not be trans, and it's never been a source of anxiety like that for me. Sounds as if you really know deep down what you are.