Hocd maybe help?!?!?!?!?!!?ANYONE

So idk man I feel like this post right here is irrelevant I feel like I just found out I’m gay, and that because of masturbation I’m doing it to lesbian lien bc that’s all that turn me on fully cause there is only girl but when put the image in my head it turns too a dude and I finish so I’m sorry for wasting everyone time on here and the sexuality Fourm the only thi g I’ve had in my mind since that happened is how to come out so I’m sorry, ik I asking for help but I truly can’t believe I’m straight anymore

Last night was terrible it felt like nothing but gay dreams even if not gay dreams my head portrayed it as one and I’m pretty sure slight arousal

Moved from OCPD to OCD forum.

If you've never questioned yourself before you got worried about being gay, I think you're not gay. I'm Bi, and certainly knew for quite some time that I wasn't completely straight- there's a difference between denial (ignoring it or making up excuses) and being clueless. And I don't believe in being absolutely clueless about one's sexuality prior to having the intense anxiety people with HOCD exhibit.

Snaga wrote:Moved from OCPD to OCD forum.

If you've never questioned yourself before you got worried about being gay, I think you're not gay. I'm Bi, and certainly knew for quite some time that I wasn't completely straight- there's a difference between denial (ignoring it or making up excuses) and being clueless. And I don't believe in being absolutely clueless about one's sexuality prior to having the intense anxiety people with HOCD exhibit.

Sorry for seeking reassurance again, Snaga.
Until the age of 16 where this began, I always had crushes only on girls. But maybe I just didn't pay enough attention to guys. Also, maybe I just realised late.

Right now I'm 100% sure I am bisexual at least. I'm having a panic attack right now after seeing a picture. I tried letting myself into the fantasies and everything and I really did enjoy it. I'm still looking at the picture now and I tried imagining kissing his whole body. I did not get an erection, but more like groinal responses and feels like a start of one and I just feel like I want it. I get even less than that on girls.

It is not possible that I'm straight after this. It really isn't. I just keep looking at it hoping for it to repulse me, but it doesn't. I could probably easily masturbate to it right now. In fact, I think I want to.

I'm hopeless and gay/bisexual. I can't accept it. I'm in denial. My life is ######6 over.
I don't know what to do. I can't live like this.

Edit: I just tried looking at nude girls and got a full erection, and looking back at that picture I lost the erection. Now I feel a little bit better, but it's just denial. I guess I'm just looking for ways to deny it. I still think I enjoy it even without an erection.

jbell777 wrote:So idk man I feel like this post right here is irrelevant I feel like I just found out I’m gay, and that because of masturbation I’m doing it to lesbian lien bc that’s all that turn me on fully cause there is only girl but when put the image in my head it turns too a dude and I finish so I’m sorry for wasting everyone time on here and the sexuality Fourm the only thi g I’ve had in my mind since that happened is how to come out so I’m sorry, ik I asking for help but I truly can’t believe I’m straight anymore

You’re posting this for someone to tell you “you’re not gay because you’re jerking it to lesbians” but that’s reassurance seeking. Ever since I stopped asking for people to reassure me I’m not gay, I’ve been feeling better. As for questionable masturbation, I’ve ejaculated to almost anything. I let a dog lick my balls when I was 15, doesn’t make me a zoophile.

hocdsufferer wrote:

Snaga wrote:Moved from OCPD to OCD forum.

If you've never questioned yourself before you got worried about being gay, I think you're not gay. I'm Bi, and certainly knew for quite some time that I wasn't completely straight- there's a difference between denial (ignoring it or making up excuses) and being clueless. And I don't believe in being absolutely clueless about one's sexuality prior to having the intense anxiety people with HOCD exhibit.

Sorry for seeking reassurance again, Snaga.
Until the age of 16 where this began, I always had crushes only on girls. But maybe I just didn't pay enough attention to guys. Also, maybe I just realised late.

Right now I'm 100% sure I am bisexual at least. I'm having a panic attack right now after seeing a picture. I tried letting myself into the fantasies and everything and I really did enjoy it. I'm still looking at the picture now and I tried imagining kissing his whole body. I did not get an erection, but more like groinal responses and feels like a start of one and I just feel like I want it. I get even less than that on girls.

It is not possible that I'm straight after this. It really isn't. I just keep looking at it hoping for it to repulse me, but it doesn't. I could probably easily masturbate to it right now. In fact, I think I want to.

I'm hopeless and gay/bisexual. I can't accept it. I'm in denial. My life is ######6 over.
I don't know what to do. I can't live like this.

Edit: I just tried looking at nude girls and got a full erection, and looking back at that picture I lost the erection. Now I feel a little bit better, but it's just denial. I guess I'm just looking for ways to deny it. I still think I enjoy it even without an erection.

You too. You’re seeking reassurance... again. If you’re bisexual or gay, and you “really did enjoy it” and “could probably easily masturbate to it,” why didn’t you?
Look, when I was deep into the obsession cycle, I jerked off to gay stuff. Guess what? You can jerk off to anything. I jerked of to gay thoughts, was paranoid and you know what my psych said? I could masturbate to anything because sexual thoughts are coded as sex, and sex turns people on. I then jerked it to animals having sex. I imagined having sex with my mom. I imagined sex with an animal. I could jerk off. So what does that mean? Nothing, except I and most men can jerk it over anything.

Difference is, what do you LIKE to jerk off to? For me, it’s always been women with big posteriors. If that becomes guys or whatever else, then be it. I’ll be okay, I’ll accept it and make my life good.

Listen to Jonathan Grayson. He says you have to make your life meaningful even if your fear comes true. If I’m not into women anymore, well, then I’ll just live a good life with not women. Doesn’t make a difference to me.

Try that. Make your life meaningful even if you are gay or bi. Gay and bi men live good lives just as anyone.

Thank y’all for the replies I started two days ago no cap and funny story the first night with out doing it a image of a girl came in my head and erected and then the dude came back and gone it went I think I can see what y’all mean

What Fidelio said! I sometimes jerk off to forbidden very taboo things, does not mean I want to do them or have that paraphilia. I limit that because I'm OCD and I don't want to fall into that sexual OCD trap. Whereas I know I'm Bi because I want it. And the idea of not getting to do that makes me depressed, rather than the idea of being it