pure o- going crazy!

Hi everyone,

this is my first time doing anything like this, so bear with me please!! i first started having intrusive thoughts in january, when i remembered a time when I was a teenager that i read a story about a man having sex with his dog, and i remember being aroused by it. since then, i started panicking that i was actually into beastiality, thinking constantly about people having sex with animals, and worrying that I was as well. i visited a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with anxiety and possible ocd (not sure he knew the concept of pure o) and i was prescribed fluvoxamine and xanax. i started doing better until yesterday, when i was looking up the anatomy of a dog (i had just gotten a puppy so i was curious) and started reading words like penis and vulva, and i felt aroused. I instantly started having my previous obsessions. I know the concept of arousal non-concordance, and rationally i know that i was aroused because of the sexual words, not because of the pictures of dogs, but i started ruminating again. this morning i actually googled dog penis to see if i would be aroused (which i wasn't, thankfully) but now it disturbs me even more that i googled that. now i feel absolutely disgusting and perverted.

sorry for the long explanation, but can anyone share any similar experiences/reassurances that i'm not actually a pervert??? btw i'm a 23 year old female if that means anything. thank you!!!